this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don’t warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here

pending poems  index

chronological order is from the bottom to the top of  the page

audio files can be complemented by listening to them with the eyes closed

the windows are open

the morons keep the curtains closed

its called

r e l i g i o n

the windows are open

the morons keep the curtains closed

its called

p h i l o s o p h y

the windows are open

the morons keep the curtains closed

strawberry pink


a strawberry pink


ed.  with apologies to an eleven year old juliet mclachlan who wrote


the  sunset

zen talks about freedom, but what is the freedom ?

people bind themselves in an over-regard for the words of others and nonsense notions like practice and time wasting stupidities like ceremonies and "being in the moment"

that is not free but a sysiphean paradigm

mountains are never not mountains and streams and lakes never not streams and lakes

the fools bury themselves in meditation missing the point

what sears my soul is not the usual, they have just taken the beautiful trees out of a second cark park in town, makes one cry, the coarse unfeelingess of the world

the first was a huge gum about five years ago that the rosellas used to roost in

the second was a lovely nook with a fir and natives completely oblitertared by the car park being extended

“ my name is manapo, manapo bhikkhu and i am  a buddhist monk ”

what a waste of a celibate life to create that sort of schizophrenia and psychosis

sort of an amalgam of lsd, a drunken reverie, lithium and a pyschotic

no wonder the comments are turned off

in effect ,  its just the usual "waiting at the end of time" by the damaged

drugs, religion, good works, they all pass by "the secret" as of no interest

i really think  this art  by jason is better than andy warhol, which actually is not hard given the degree of crap by andy

i made a suggestion for some blood around the mouth of the female head and even fangs and also bruising for the male in this  artwork  and it was interesting to see how jason has used the idea

his  first version  without the blood is really quite a different artwork, i think that shows talent, that he can create such different pieces in terms of effect with a few changes

i like art, but i don’t think the same way as artists and of course i have no experience in making art

i’m not saying collabrative involvement doesn’t work for art and writing, for instance some of my poems are "replies" to work by other writers

but i think there’s something very solipsist about the process

soft the mist lies

comforting and yielding

making the paddocks a hidden mysterious world

soft the mist lies

conforming and shielding

making the paddocks a hidden mysterious world

what’s life ?

its not long

more trauma than you can throw a stick at

a glimpse of joy

supposedly the sums add


the unbelievableness of dealing with people who live behind a glass wall in your interaction with them

some people can appear sane who are actually quite insane

some people can appear sane that are actually quite insane


there’s two stages to competence

first you learn from the more competent

then you learn to correct the incompetent

there’s a wide gap between these, so many skip the first and assume the role of correcter in the second

the net

spread wider than the world

spreads one so thin

it hurts

in "the spiritual search" that there is no wrong road or right road, or even a road is typical of drug users rationalisation, since there is no wrong or right then it doesn’t matter what you do, ie taking drugs is ok

god preserve me from these highly motivated arseholes

shanahan and baars  discuss  "the frame problem" as addressed by "global workspace theory"

"framing" is the ability to splice information from cognitively dissimilar domains and this is something "conciousness" achieves

old patterns

repeat and repeat

i never believed them

and now i believe them even less

but still they occur

the gravity of death

it pulls you down into it

suicide pulls you

twice as hard

the marine graveyard in séte

foolish dead

your prim houses, meaningless crosses

your eyeless corpses never to see what is beyond

the drift of the waves

moonlight stairs that you cannot climb

ciphers thou art


no-one there to see

this graveyard overlooks the sea in séte

i was researching paul valéry’s famous  poem  and its really odd to read, the first verse is wonderful, but the following ones are tangled rubbish, anyway, i was looking at pictures of the cemetery and something fused in my mind with valery’s poem and the result is above

georges brassens is buried in a cemetery for the poor on the other side of the promontory

chanson  pour l'auvergnat

dozing off in a chair

random nonsense


i get up

i’ve had enough of this

dozing off in a chair

random nonsense


everybody expects fixed points

they don’t exist

spouse, children

money, health

sometimes they shift

sometimes they don’t

so much depends on the preservation of continuity

except it is


religions are ambiguous in terms of benefit and harm, the most brutal and murderous regimes to their own citizens were the atheist soviet union and communist china, literal holocausts in their own right

done as  a sculpture  by jeff koons, worth $10 million

done as a tutorial project for 3D

value $0

go figure today’s art scene

i don’t think in terms of a "meditative state", rather its a "do nothing time", no internet, dealing with others, no chores" etc, you are decompressing and cognitive structures can simplify and develop more predictive and insight "power"

however without adequate wide ranging quality reading you will also end up on rather narrow schizophrenic roads which are a real danger

people also "isolate" observation from testing and developing hypotheses which is another trap

the number of people i have seen complaining of depression with poor diet, heavy pot use, complete lack of exercise and no attention to the circadian rhythm and sleep who then say "trust your doctor" and take your meds  (often multiple with chronic side effects)  is unbelievable

the adding of sums is more like the solving of equations

we add this and that and then solve to make something simpler that then grows in complexity

sometimes to break apart leaving nothing

occasionally staying in its own terms leaving a base we can work from

"diabetes  increases  the incidence of glaucoma by 36%"

an effective inferential demonstration of how important  cardiovascular health  is to the eye

the essence of any art is to regenerate the interest as it is looked at or "perused"

if you can do this, then you have made great art

a lot of modern art "cheats" by having something initially "confronting" so creating an intial interest, but there’s nothing more or behind it, its empty

in a vision

however i would have made a mistake


the brain is like a fabric

that my poems and homilies rip

the brain is like a fabric

that my poems rip

what left you so inarticulate?, you’d be a hazard grocery shopping

i’m a stranger in a strange land

with no home anywhere

i’m a stranger in a strange land with no home anywhere

edda göring’s  christening  with hitler as her godfather, all quite chummy

i dispute the translations of eihei dogen’s use of "time", there is in fact no contemporary word in english to match what he meant, its obvious if you listen to all the inane explanations and i wouldn’t be surprised if he used different words anyway, the consistency is just a translation illusion

the translators give an interpretation in terms of an imagined structure, when its just a riff, pick it up and let it go, because that’s about all it is

look at the  nonsense  going on, the schizophrenics all trying to make sense of who-knows what

a wikipedia page to testify to stupidity

the religious, so hubric





zennists, so hubric





viking ship burials, the pyramids and mummies, religious promises of an afterlife

the endless pursuit to sustain the illusion of continuity

in contradistinction to the failure thereof

enclosed in its walls

you don’t understand that the seeds of failure are always within ourselves

we can not help fail at some-things because we cannot not be ourselves

the man leonora carrington loved was her last husband and the father of her two children, you can see it in the photos of them together

jason and cat, what drives your relationship in her eyes, though she is unconcious of it, is the reality of your unconceived children

they will flux between being more real and entirely imaginary

at some point she will move to more real or abandon the prospect and leave them as entirely imaginary

most women will abandon the relationship at the point they appear to be entirely imaginary

children feed their parent’s narcissism, they are images of themselves

you  (ed.  brad warner)  are making all these claims of eihei dogen’s behalf, but you are just another person making claims on eihei dogen’s behalf

all good poetry implicitly deals with time and its mutations, but your reading is so limited you have no idea

the moon

tonight, tomorrow

 who cares ?

walking with the fairies

that’s zen

i am asked

what does  "walking with the fairies"  mean ?

my  reply

"away with the fairies"

“ giving the impression of being mad, distracted, or in a dreamworld ”

in terms of the poem, its not entirely negative, to successfully negotiate what zen is about requires substantial measures of distraction, madness and dreaming, too much so for the "normative bunnies" inhabiting zen today

“ leonora carrington’s views of sexuality, however, differ from contemporary feminists in that she sees  maternity  as the key experience of femininity

she stated  :   “ we, women, are animals conditioned by maternity  .  .  .   for female animals love-making, which is followed by the great drama of the birth of a new animal, pushes us into the depths of the biological cave ” ”

mating and children

women never get out of the biological cave of necessity

the ten new precepts for net zennists and buddhists

1.  take plenty of drugs, its great you are being one with the universe

2.  be a total hypocrite talking about compassion when you actually do nothing but talk

3.  extend your hypocrisy into every area of your life, talk is cheap so maximise your self-delusion about the sort of person you are

4.  remember that being a buddhist, you cannot be closed enough to new ideas

5.  promiscuity goes with buddhism like bacon goes with eggs

6.  narcissism and border-line personality are the stock-in-trade

7.  your drug taking may keep you poor, so hang a photo of the dalai lama on the wall, he's rich so maybe some of that will rub off on you

8.  buddha statues everywhere to hide the pot or whatever in

9.  in religion, pretense and stupidity is everything so let your natural abilities flow

10.  don’t worry about re-incarnation or other crazy doctrinal divergences from the western way of thinking, your "buddhism" is what you make it

he’s behind a glass wall

of a lack of interaction

with the people






walk the road of bitterness

a lot falls away

in its clarity

there’s no-one else on this road

walk the road of bitterness

a lot falls away

in its clarity

its a road of your own

no-one else



walk the road of bitterness

a lot falls away

in its clarity

if you don’t deal aggressively with mistakes, you will be stuck in a limbo

all the same, patience is needed in the rectification

the problem with being excessively influenced by some-one, is you take on their mistakes as well as your own, and this proves to be an insurmountable barrier

what is the difference between visual art and poetry ?

this has always puzzled me

leonora carrington on how you shouldn’t intellectualize her art, but should  feel it

i think that’s equivalent to my saying you can’t break a poem apart to get the sense, though obviously, you can somewhat break apart art and writing effectively for analysis to an extent

i don’t think visual art, sculpture or music can carry abstraction the way poetry can, in fact, now i think about it, poetry is a unique confluence/ intersection/ conjunction of sound/ abstraction and visual imagery

poetry seems minimalist, but its the most complex, combining all the elements of the other arts as it does

an exhibition of leonora’s work  at the tate


men and women with charisma are trouble

woman and men with charisma are trouble

a woman with charisma is trouble

she has charisma, and that always means trouble

the art buying habits of  oligarchs  is best explained by "opportunity cost" ,  their successful use of attention to financial matters has left them vulnerable on the question of artistic quality which they take to be measured by price and the opinion of "experts"

in addition there has been general downsizing of artistic intelligence in the public since about 1960

oddly enough i think musical appreciation and sophistication is improving with the huge variety of material available on the web

when i look at some of the financial gurus like warren buffet, charlie munger, john templeton and peter lynch, all very able men, i suspect in a different culture and time they would have been warlords, so look out !

we live in unusual times, cycles of famine and plenty, peace and ruinious warfare and constant disease used to be the norm

charlie munger is interesting, he insists on the necessity of a lot of reading, an outsider in an anti-intellectual world

research is showing vaping is turning out to be no healthier than smoking

its better to "step down" over a fortnight than give up suddenly

alcohol, smoking, vaping

those two orbs in our head

they never consider

i scrape the barrel of my thought


i read some poems of marina tsvetaeva

and write something down

its probably enough and i don’t feel anything is missing

when you reach the end of the road

you don’t have to keep travelling

i scrape the barrel of my thought


i read some poems of marina tsvetaeva

and write something down

its probably enough and i don’t feel any absence

when you reach the end of the road

you don’t have to keep travelling

because marina tsvetaeva writes so directly and understandably, of all the poets i find her the most disturbing to read knowing how she died

there’s a complete disruption between her idyllic childhood and the manner of her death, she just had no idea, her poems belong in a different universe, not starving in tartarstan

her poem  books in red binding

people who dislike you, or you dislike can give you very valuable criticism

there is absolutely nothing special about a language, there’s many infinities of them and when you geographically isolate to some extent a human group, a new one will arise

as you get older, you get to grips with a basic principle of life

usually what you intend does not happen the way you want it, or expect

nothing is destroying maori culture faster than retaining the maori language

let go what is gone and you will keep what remains

drug users

a million miles of hubric

on a nocuous brain

not an old russian  song  at all, but composed for a russian mini-series by evgeny krylatov with lyrics by yuri entin

the beauty of distance/ beautiful far


i find if you get into a subject more, you don’t have favourites, rather the palette becomes very broad

why are psychoactive drugs so much more dangerous to the brain than precription medicines ?

i think the plasticity of the brain and "soft memory" makes it vulnerable, so anything that the primary effect is to act on the brain can be very damaging

you can see this with chemos designed for brain tumours, this cross-over between prescription medicines and the psychoactive

an elephant

big and wrinkly

and a



sensible exercise/physical work is a very effective anti-depressant

pyotr tchaikovsky  —  hymn of the cherubim

lsd does absolutely nothing and is dangerous

we already know altered states through dreaming

from "de aegypto" by ezra pound

the moon is a great pearl in the waters of sapphire

cool to my fingers the flowing waters

my re-working

the moon a pearl in sapphire waters

no hand in the flow

my  comment

ezra pound really does have his moments, a very interesting life, with one huge mistake that cost him dearly

the more the retina is damaged, the more easily it damages

its a general principle of just about anything, damage also damages an organ’s ability to defend itself, also the damaging stimulus will be taking bigger and bigger percentages of the remaining functionality

an absolutely breathtaking  duet  by sabine devieilhe and lea desandre of handel’s  "per abbattere il rigore"

"personal development" is just nonsense for suckers

the net is infested with these half-witted drug taking idiots trying to shout down any criticism of what they are doing and they use zen as wallpaper for their lives

you would have though they just moped around high or whatever and kept off the net, but no, they have to missionize their bullshit everywhere

the bottom line with drugs, is do they cause permanent brain damage and my observation of people who do them, is yes they do, and actually especially LSD which even one dose doesn’t seem to leave people unscathed

there is no substitute for sustained periods of solitary self-reflection, you can call it "meditation", "contemplative work", whatever, but that’s the real mccoy, not drug bullshit

the other thing is reading "quality", by which i mean emily dickinson and sa’di and not alan watts or ken wilber

"entertainment" is another mire, more so because its not black and white at all, i suppose you could call it an intoxicant, but its certainly a mix of useful and counterproductive

a druggie replies

i find it bothersome that you  (ed.  brad warner)  made  a video  about drugs and zen without mentioning the fact that there are many zen monks that drink rice wine.  read some ikkyuu and respond to his poetry about zen and drugs

my  reply

i don’t think he drank that much, for one thing it was expensive then and there’s nothing to indicate he was an alcoholic

there have been some great poets who have been alcoholic like charles bukowski, but jesus, he would have been better without it

li po /lai bai too

ikkyu is also used as a contrary indicator of the need to be celibate in zen, but as far as i could work out, he was celibate until about 30 and actually i think the popularity of his writing made women more "available"

the "real zen" imo is about dried up sticks like joshu who kept their brains in good shape and lived a long time to work things out fully, its sorta between religion and poetry, with elements of both, but not completely either

ikkyu is sorta there, but he also sorta wasn’t, missing a fold or two that you can see in joshu

buddhism was created by and died with the rise and fall of the ashoka empire well, it hung about a bit, but the empire was its glory days it was a religion designed to keep the peace, just like islam actually, only in a rather different way

what i never expected was to become so prolific writing, i can’t keep up with myself, but i think its a good space, like picasso

i find the most important thing for sleep is adequate folate in the diet, that’s the real folate and not the folic acid added to food

it confusing because the terms are often used interchangeably, but they are different

regular hours and avoiding blue or white light for at least an hour or so before bed is also important

you can also sleep for several hours in the afternoon

stalin and osip mandelstam were similar, they had strong manic episodes and good intelligences

buddhism attempts to create a system of  "wisdom"

it just don’t work

"wisdom" only partially works in the first place

false versions of the universe

buddhism, christianity, islam, religions in general, science, atheism, humanism, agnosticism

is that list exhaustive ?

ahh, i forgot philosophy, new age, aliens, materialism, modernism, post-modernism, engineering

what is not a false version

history, poetry, literature, going for a walk by yourself

eugene peterson’s  translation  of ezekial’s vision by the kebar river, i think it conveys the underlying strength of infinity in reality with more than a hint of tangibility in the intermediaries, something to think on for sure

so much of the old testament is  imagined  military victories when the reality was defeat

you can see the holocaust was to some extent consequent on a certain programmed pyschosis in judaism

what’s not known, can’t be created without "discovery"

everything just washes by

past intensities are gone

one looks back in wonder

at what seemed so concerning

everything just washes by

past intensities are gone

there is nothing more pissy than the literary world and those hogwash dregs called "critics"

“ .  .  .  then "scientific truth" is decided by both accreting evidence and reasonable consensus between professionals.  this often takes time ”

i really subscribe to the "free energy principle" ,  understanding is a discovery process, it doesn’t have a beginning and an end

even the notion of truth itself is part of this

in terms of brad warner’s vlog, his "brad’s buddhism" is an obvious example of a discovery process gone awry, he doesn’t research deeply and is preoccupied with building some static understanding of  "life and the universe"  from the bricks and mortar of the usual idiots, why is a mystery

basically he is being unscientific, the theoretical dog is wagging the real life observation tail

in terms of science, you can infer mutability, for example the "standard model" will have some radically new perspective within several hundred years ceteris paribus

biology i have decided is some sort of macroscopic quantum phenomena

the spiritual type

does 5 minutes of meditation a week

smokes pot daily

can’t admit it so blathers to hide the fact

i’ve seen it all

the karma of going up wrong roads

one has to ask

 what is a wrong road ?

the theme of icarus is not that great

if he had made the wings himself

he would have known of the low melting point of wax

buddha implies non-buddha

what the hell

do they think

 they are talking about ?

“ karl popper said that a scientific theory must make specific predictions and be falsifiable ”

well he was wrong, there are scientific theories that do not make specific predictions and are not falsifiable

something can be true without being falsifiable, wake up karl !

monotheism is bunk

one god



the idiot pretends

zen is not a religion

why ?






just because a group of people

think it is so

doesn’t mean it is so

the rule book of buddhism

any idiot

can see

it doesn’t work

something that is

implies that which isn’t

you have to go between them

the problem with one formal system of understanding

like a religious belief is it implies others

obviously the buck doesn’t stop there

the problem with one formal system of understanding

like a religious belief is it implies other formal systems of understanding

obviously the buck doesn’t stop there

what i have found is people who ignore what is posted to them the way you are doing ,  are  n. q. r. i. t. h.

you obviously do no meditation or contemplative work ,  just stuck in faulty conceptualizations

its a fundamental thing when people disrespect you by not paying attention to what you say and not answering your  (implicit)  questions

cat  writes

“ you can create a man with wings, closer to the sun but almost falling, because when we want to get the hardest things of life sometimes we burn ourselves ”

i think she’s referring to  this painting  with its very astute observations on life

“ no plough stops for the sake of a dying man ”


you can write like a conversation

or you can write with density

big difference

by real life experience of buddhism and zen i mean involvement with various organisations for some extended period so you see the inside as well as the outside

to be certain of an opinion of something without substantial real life experience is a type of schizophrenia

in all my various involvements i have never seen anyone really dispute or even be interested in disputing that zen and buddhism are religions, its only by people living in imaginary worlds on the net that one sees it

interestingly a fundamental belief of buddhism and zen is the "correctness' of the teachers, with really no exceptions imo they are all stupid clueless idiots, that’s not "upaya" but outright stinking craziness and i have met plenty

what strikes me as bizarre about disputing zen as being a religion on brad warner’s vlog is that brad is an approved teacher for an organisation that views itself as a religion

how do religions and philosophy differ ?

philosophy is an investigative theory of reality

religion is a "given" theory of reality not open to investigation/question

they are both psychotic because the recursive nature of language means nothing meaningful can be said from the semantic-pragmatic space they occupy

to me, the essence of religion

is the pretense

of nonsense

having deep meaning

that is to say

matched to its audience

its will be like this

for all being

for all time

and existance

to me, the essence of religion

is the pretense

of nonsense

having deep meaning

that is to say

matched to its audience

to me, the essence of religion

is the pretense

of nonsense

having deep meaning

its not generally appreciated that vitamin  D is not really a vitamin, but an anti-inflammatory steroid and now low levels are turning out to be a major factor in  covid deaths

i’ve been taking it for years, cured a shoulder problem i was having, the blackmores 1000iu vit D is good, you can tailor the dose by pricking one end of the capsule with a pin and say squeeze out so many drops as make for half the dose, you have to work out what dose suits, more is not necessarily better with vitamins, what suits me is 400 to 1000iu a day, depending

i don’t like the supermarket "multivitamins and minerals"

the caruso’s "vitamin D3 and K2" is good, i split the dose to twice a day

the K2 reverses calcification of the arteries and connective tissue, but needs caution as it has an effect on blood clotting

i really have no health problems except one day i will need a cataract operation and am still limber with good stamina, something intelligent supplementation has enabled

i have to say most of the commonly accepted advice is rubbish or harmful

the number one enemy of continued good health as you get older is impaired circulation, it has a lot of flow on effects

the above is, in effect my opinion, there are contrary views on the value of vitamin D supplementation for covid, its always a difficult area and what i write is "some care and no responsibility"

i do think some of these very high doses greater than 1000iu a day are problematic

oddly enough the intervention that has changed the game with covid is not putting people on ventilators, but using oxygen and the prone position with its greater lung efficiency, the survival rate on ventilators is very low and requires highly skilled operation

boris johnson didn’t go  on a ventilator ,  he may still only be alive due to the oxygen and prone intervention, he’ll be low vitamin D for sure

a "devil’s dictionary" definition of fashion,

the extent to which women will go to disguise the fact they are cows or sows

"i’m not taking the bait"

the next step is not to take the bait and walk away

zen has always claimed not to be a religion but by the  "anti-baktinism"  approach it is and everything about it and the idiots who follow it makes sense

what makes a religion is best defined as a sort of  "inverse  baktinism "  that is, a twisted and toxic version of the literary, it is and isn’t in a rather crucifying way

its anti-heteroglossial  (monoglossial)  in opposition to heteroglossia, subtly anti-carnivalistic with its rote and restricted permission of carnivalism, anti-dialogic and has a false chronotope

i don’t think any religion is any truer than any other

zen and buddhism are religions

where does that leave you, zen buddhists ?

up shit creek without paddle

the usual idiot with their schizophrenically crafted version of buddhism and zen replies

At its central core, zen and buddhism are not religions.  Religion is an edifice of beliefs and ideas.  Buddhism asks, "when you put away all beliefs and ideas, what do you have?"  That is Zen.  That is buddhism

my  reply

i do think zen and buddhism have strong belief systems, for instance the belief that "buddha" is an historical person, which in my view, he is not.

my guess is you have no real life zen or buddhist experience because your view is quite common among "net zennists" ,  if you have real life experience with all the ceremonies, statuary, hierarchies, costumes, chanting and other brou-ha, the view they are not religions is not possible to sustain.

i think brad warner’s lack of wide ranging buddhist and zen experience has left him naive in this respect

yet another idiot comes out of the woodwork and writes

I guess the military has ceremonies , statuary, hierarchies, costumes, chanting and are not a religion

my  reply

religion and the military have always been entwined with religions promising an afterlife, whether heaven, reincarnation or even sheol to persuade soldiers to place their lives at risk but no-one regards the military as being religion, though it may have religious-like factors, that is, its function which is warfare is different

even so, there’s some validity to your point and we have to go to the next level on what constitutes a religion, which i have written up  here  and is worth the effort to work your way through

interestingly brad is on the border of literature versus religion

the answer to the puzzle as to why women  have twins

its basically because double ovulation favours favours the birth of one child as women age and fraternal twins themselves are an unwanted side effect from a survival point of view

all these poets and poetesses that kill themselves

you get attached to them

 and then   .   .   .


our lives now sundered that were never apart

let the burning go on

ed.  my reply to marina tsvetaeva's poem  to asya

i think the "third call" must be for boarding a train or possibly a ship

another  poem  of hers about asya


returning circles

pick up when you come around again

relationship break-ups are irreversible, only the mentally ill or demented would want to go through all that again

if it didn’t work once, it won’t work twice

the way  defamation  goes these days, $170,000 damages and $300,000 court costs

its hard to understand "the telegraph" who clearly had no case not settling for the fifty or sixty thousand daniel johns would have probably accepted intially

this is a wonderful example of defamation, its defamatory if its not true and not defamatory if it can be proven to be true

the real weirdness is any number of people can say anything on the net and they won’t be touched because the legal costs are so high in relation to any likely return

newspapers and print publishers however are a sitting duck

nothing is ever right

sometimes you can think yourself right

and wake up

to find yourself out on a limb

in the middle of nowhere

nothing is ever right

sometimes you can think yourself right

and wake up

to find yourself out on a limb

in nowhere

jason  writes

well an old feeling appears and lasts for three or four seconds, it carries so many memories, not like a single memory but a whole folder of them

it felt mystical, driving through the mountains of northern portugal at dusk

life is a multi-directional problem

unwarrantedly reducing directions can create unforseen consequences

life is a multi-directional problem

actors and actresses

charisma and not much else

that’s all they are

brains, no

the useless burn




the world’s most fruit loop occupations   :   acting, musicians, politics, artists, writers

there’s a putrid ripeness festering under the appearance

however, not in all cases, there are exceptions

you can see how picasso somewhat circumvented the cost of women by looking at what he did with them artistically, he made them part of his art so he got a benefit from the involvement

brad warner is living with his girlfriend over the lock down, its really set him back and exposed him as "intellectually dishonest" to a disgusting degree, the coronairus has had some benefits, its made me wise to a certain con artistry in him

beware of any-one wanting to be an actress or actor, the  "profession"  is populated by promiscous fruit-loops

the young don’t understand the between "cup and lip" thing, they over project, its actually a form of schizophrenia from lack of life experience, you want to be wary in dealing with them

gangiji and her people are so fake i bet this  comment  of mine will be deleted

doesn’t she get sick of talking nonsense ?

7,000 views and mine the only comment ?

she’s buying views, you need to buy comments as well oh aging honey

living evidence pot causes brain damage

the  fake  versus the   real

the real is our evolutionary antecedents so the fake is no surprise

its hardly "in the moment" to be giving endless waste of time explanations, just the usual craziness of "spiritual teachers" and the morons who pay them

forget general relativity, quantum mechanics and a unified theory, "is" and "is not" and what’s in between describe everything

a question can be a comment

i must say carl jung is most  unimpressive  for one so famous and having supposedly such a seminal imprint on twentieth century thought

ed.  to read the link if you have run out of free reads, just leave the "cookies" screen there and don’t accept

“ Sir Thomas Urquhart, who is known today, if at all, as the 17th-century translator of part of Rabelais, must have been a most  peculiar man

At a guess, he may have had to a preternatural degree that quality of mind, not unknown among modern scholars, that causes a man to believe that whatever he thinks, says or does is infallibly true and right, and that whatever he observes in the world is true and right only insofar as it coincides with what is already in his mind

It would be wrong and unkind to call him a liar, as he has been called: he simply stated his own truths

Since he also seems to have been almost completely devoid of common sense, and to have been given to violence, he was hardly likely to have had a smooth life

The wonder, indeed, is that his troubles were not more immediately fatal; what saved him, I suppose, is that no one took him seriously ”

italy had such a high mortality rate with the coronavirus because everyone there  is low  on vitamin  D

suprisingly it also explains why sweden is able to get away with a relaxed lockdown, that in fact they have high vitamin D levels

i really like this  butterfly motif  by jason

jason  replies

thank you, i like it too

i don’t know, am thinking about posting to social media somewhere

my  reply

cat’s comments that are added to the images are crap

what works are the separate images and the images combined

that’s installation quality, the separate images framed on a wall and also the combined images

i would not put it on social media because people will pinch the ideas while shouting you down and telling you, you are producing crap, that’s the way of these mediocre arseholes

if you get some printing and framing costs i might be able to help

the sizes want thinking about

i quite liked cat’s late uncle’s  paintings  ,  the talent was there

if you fix one part of a lambourghini, its just a small number of km’s driving until you find the next design and manufacturing  fault

luxury performance cars are just one long beta that some people seem willing to pay for

“ buddhism is not mental construction ”

 really ?

i get the usual deflective reply

reality’s so unreal

my "anti-deflective" reply

the problem is when the unreal is made real in maladaptive ways, something you are familiar with given your feeble attempts at controlling what no-one gives a shit about

the softest rain falling

not tears

but sorrow

i think the poem discomforted you  (ed.  a correspondent) ,  its a perspective that can be difficult to look from, but to me its just another poem, a different take on one i wrote many years ago





which is itself a rearrangement of a passage written by some-one i knew

“ then softly  .  .  they did fall  —

her tears  —  like rain ”

yes, she was suicidal, but that’s the nature of writing, what is written doesn’t necessarily translate through to the writer, however that doesn’t mean i can’t tap into feminine themes and the depressive

writing explores these spaces, its not the normal social chit chat

all the idiocy and countless man-hours put into the creation and refutation of philosophies of science




there is no such




astrology is a system of voynich with its own vocabulary and premises

and hidden subterfuges to suspend disbelief

its not that i don’t have anything to say, its that i don’t want to be bored by saying it

if only we could unsubscribe from some of our life "choices" as easily as we can do on the net

we get so "invested" in these "subscriptions"

the hermit life

you change your bottom sheet and underlay





maud gonne was a nut case, i think yeats was and wasn’t complaining about her rejecting him

clem gordon, the "hermitess" of st. isaac’s in the hokianga was unique, a person only come across once in many lifetimes, i was lucky to stay at her hermitage

non-being has no reference point

compared to what ?

yet it is everything

let the subs or whatever take care of themselves, concentrate on your content, its a big mistake to do the marketing yourself i have decided

unfortunately, it takes trauma to make us learn

it takes trauma to make us learn

today’s world with its ready access to literature, writing, music, entertainment and other media creates a trap for "dreamers"

if that’s you, you have to step out into the real world more and do things

only when you do things are the spells of one’s own projections broken

if you want to know whether some-one is talking crap

you can look at the way they behave

more insight than you want

if you want to know whether some-one is talking crap

you can look at the way they behave

when you run into the limitations of other people’s poetry

all you are left with is writing your own

when you run into the limitations of other people’s poetry

you have to start writing your own

there’s different realms of thought

unaccessible to the ordinary


love to travel


“ words of the wind ”  by alejandra pizarnik, translated  and read  by forrest gander

“ horse of ire 

bear me far from myself

far from this cry

 that stands in for the night ”

sometimes, it pays to let things slide aside

better the unrepentant, than the disguised repentant

“ illuminated memory, gallery from where the shadow of what i wait wanders, its not true it will come, its not true it won’t come ”

a reading  of alejandra pizarnik  (number eight in a series)  by anna morales

my  reworking

magic memories



i don’t ask

what is true

and what is not

an aspect of solipsism is you can’t speak to very different situations from yourself

on the other hand solipsism says you don’t have to be too concerned about that which differs substantially from yourself

the world seems so many disparate bits

that won’t come together

even if you point

and say those belong together

the angels stand


error and the need for correction are endless

this is the task of celibacy

let the marrieds pretend

“ explain the words of this world that  bore me  of a boat elsewhere ”

anna morales translating alejandra pizarnik

 poems without the spirit of what ?

are not


 poems without the spirit of what ?

are not



in her search for damaged men

goes further afield

she  replies

you have got to follow the 5:7:5 format

the damaged men, swept

like dry leaves against a fence


my  reply

haiku doesn’t fit english that well so some flexibility is needed

honey to her ears

the moans

of the dead

my view is that the only reasonable reply to a poem is to write a poem in reply

if you write poetry you will understand what i am saying, poetry is not prose, it is quite a different use of language, it can’t be approached in prose


an almost full moon

the curtains not drawn

a bird hits the window and comes back a second time

but not a third

it must have figured it out

let the masses weep

in their way

stupidity mixed with sugar

their blandness is temporarily traumatised

sod the lot

you’re a musician ?

i don’t have a high opinion of the cognitive abilities of musicians

the neighbour gave one of the feral cats away

“ tigs ”

i was quite fond of him

he woud walk with me across to the pump shed in the moonlight

i suspect he was dumped somewhere, might be alive, might not be

i think he could support himself hunting

i don’t know whether to mourn him or not

brad, you come across a lot better with  this sort of content  than the buddhist stuff

all you are doing with the "buddhist zen" is "missionizing" for the likes of the san francisco zen center, money into their pockets taken from yours

just remember, that sawaki’s sidekick uchiyama made his money from his books on origami, not zen

there’s no money in zen and when you do the buddhist stuff, you are just another stupid priest, one of many thousands who will just kick you away while pocketing your wallet

you can’t predict the future, all you can do is make an educated guess

you are just imposing your personal feelings, heaps of sugar is what you like

well, that doesn’t work with reality

poetry requires a degree of abrasion for effect !

eva kor was  a survivor  of dr. mengele’s infamous "twin experiments"

“ she realized after many years of lecturing that speaking in public was also a kind of  “self-therapy”

for seven years, she would end every lecture with “a very strange statement   :   i would say, ‘i am standing up here looking down at that little girl and telling her story’ ”

but in 1985, she was at one of her talks, describing the separation from her mother, which she had done many times, and she began sobbing uncontrollably

“ i was very embarrassed. i had never cried before ”

it started happening lecture after lecture, until she was forced, she says, to confront some buried awfulness

“ never again did i say that i’m standing up here looking down at this little girl and telling her story

because that little girl and me became one ” ”

by male standards

nothing a woman does

is simple

only in iceland

a future of back and joint  injuries ,  why do they do such a self harming activity ?

humans are a minimally robust hominin, this shit is just phakic

herd immunity is a bit of a nonsense term imo, real "herd immunity" is quite a complex notion, for example the control of syphilis into its milder forms in pre-columbian america

we have an evolutionarily designed herd immunity to influenza because its genetically designed into our immune systems for us not to be killed by it

covid-19 precisely because it hits our immune systems at a vulnerable point circumvents the possibility of herd immunity

i think its known how much better to handle it now, particularly oxygen instead of respirators for those having trouble breathing  and tracing contacts with outbreaks

60% of the problem where i am has been people returning from cruise ships

i feel the long term solutions are medical in the sense of remedies, tests and vaccines

all it took here was a couple of infected elderly passengers returning from a notorious cruiseship to spread the viruses through a hospital and put an a large regional area into lock-down which hopefully will be lifted tomorrow

she intends to confuse you, what do you expect ?  you are not talking to another man

“ i thought i met a good girl, and that she wasn’t playing with me ”

people have unconscious agendas, she’s no more "good" than you are

you meet the agenda you’re on board, you don’t meet the agenda and you’re off

women play with men the way cats play with mice, what are you complaining about ?

basically covid is an  "anti-flu"

it hits our immune systems in a way that, optimised as we are for surviving influenza, we are vulnerable

its an infectious niche that always runs the risk of being filled

just keep an open mind, observe and do things, that sorts the problematic out

the strength of talking is dialog and interaction, not density

the strength of writing is density, its not strong on "interaction" so it needs to be righter, which unfortunately, it rarely is

males are disposable

females to a large, but not entire extent

treat them as such

judi dench is an  exceptional actress

a quote from earnst hemingway’s  "a farewell to arms"

“ the world breaks everyone & afterward many are strong in the broken places.  but those that will not break it kills.  it kills the very good & the very gentle and the very brave impartially.  if you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry ”

my  reply

yet you killed yourself

in a hurry ?

a large pike is at leisure to eat anything in the pond

given her age, shape and skin cat is always going to have men around her like flies to honey, don’t get attached, she’s just grief

you don’t listen to me, you need to get a skill, her’s is to hook men

you just go through one female fixation after another when you should be doing art or something

keep her as a friend and not a lover,

she’s a young woman at the height of her power, she’s looking for a mate with enough money to support her future children, they are all the same, its a deadly serious business

you are more of the problem than her, its unreasonable to constrain her life

you are skipping over what i am saying

bad sign

“ If you trust me you don’t have to worry about nothing.  Like I know is still too early to trust and you don’t know me well and enough, but I’m just saying you can trust.  Then you do what you want.  I won’t hurt your feelings on purpose ”

lol, if you believe that, you’ll believe anything

a large pike is at leisure to eat anything in the pond

she’s just sharpening her skills, but in all sincerity is not fully conscious of it

interestingly, her sentence structure is quite male

she needs to be some use in your life, artistic interest or something

its all one way at the moment, her using you to "update" her male handling skill set

she’s burning your time away to not much effect, there’s a few themes here for some good art actually

i think that might be a root issue actually, your being too casual about pissing your life away in your peak years, which, believe it or not are already fading

her replies to you are sophistic, avoidant and voynichy

she really has an agenda and long term its not you


toxic shit



the core of the problem with the coronavirus is it  triggers the body  into too strong an auto-immune response and like the 1918 flu, what kills is not the virus but the body attacking its own cells

it locks on to a receptor in the lungs you have more of as you get older and if you smoke

i can’t see things getting back to normal until antibodies and vaccines are developed

interestingly we have evolved to have an immune response to be be effective agaisnt influenze, but this adpation is out of phase with what is need for coronaviruses

if i read about the coronavirus

i don’t have to read about   megan and harry  ,   the british royal family  ,    donald trump  ,   jacinda arden 

anna akhmatova, marina tsvetaeva and osip mandelstam, he courted both and was rejected, in hindsight he was a far better choice than the disasters they actually chose

certainly he was a better match for marina than her stupid murderous husband

they were all quite closely matched in age;  mt 9/92   om 1/91   aa 6/89

something to remember about the "acmeist" poets, is their lives were such a disaster the poetry wasn’t worth it

eihei dogen wrote   :   one day a monk came to me and said  "the moment we have no possessions my world becomes larger"

my comment   :   yet he now possesses the idea his world has become larger

his viewpoint is that of the "religious mad", ideas replace objects and they suffer bereft of the objects, yet for all their error they may as well have the "objects" which actually the buddhist monks of old did since archaeology shows them to have been very wealthy, their lifestyle only being matched by royalty

you can’t say "it is, but it isn’t" ,  you actually have to displace that by looking in a different area so the questions don’t arise

the idiots spew their conceptualizations

not understanding the fluidity of being

they bath in sewers and eat from dumpsters

thinking they sit at a king’s table

how can you help these ?


i think what is different about the net

as a publishing medium

is the way the audience gets confused with the creative producers

if you are on the creative side

by god

you have to be careful

of the grasping thugs


shredded tinsel blown in the wind

to rebuild

is questionable

the landscape is the dreaming, when you walk in it, it is a friend and will help you to the extent it can, but be warned, there are limits

there are strange realms where you can be swallowed up and coming out again is not known

a good page of marina tsvetaeva  quotes

she might have been the brightest of the soviet years poets, having a natural philosophical depth

group moderated message boards

often show an uncanny ability

to destroy themselves, at least to sense

by selecting

the people least suited


be moderators



group moderated message boards

often show an uncanny ability

to destroy themselves

by selecting

the people least suited


be moderators



people get on a track

they veer constantly in some unknown direction

but known to them

to the outside observer it looks insane

it is insane

its called late onset schizophrenia

and once you recognise it

its everywhere

the covid-19 cure rate is significantly associated with higher  selenium status


a half moon

a head in the clouds

making meaning out of nothing


faces in the clouds

making meaning out of nothing

van zyl’s pass and the marienfluss in nambia are  somewhere  i will never visit, beautiful country, reminds me of the flinders ranges though the flinders lacks the scale which is saying something

if i had to make  "rules of life"

they would be

you have to be patient

only a couple of degrees in 360 ever works out

sometimes simple rules work

sometimes they don’t

don’t get caught in "bad corners" where all the outomes give an injurous intersection for you

test your ideas and be prepared to find yourself wrong

do you really need to damage your health and brain with recreational drugs and alcohol ?

remember that sustained inadequate sleep inducts permanent brain damage

there’s a type of insanity that wants to take you down with them

do not evaluate the opposite gender on looks or physique

"all ravens are black"  does not necessarily imply there are no non-black ravens which actually matches real life observations

what’s the religious obsession with rules ?  i have never found a rule that didn’t need modification or changing in my life ?

social rules have a tremendous sophistication and complexity, more than is easily captured in millennia old nonsense

what’s the religious obsession with rules ?  i have never found a rule that didn’t need modification or changing in my life ?

what is this obsession with rules ? i have never found a rule that didn’t need modification or changing in my life ?

grandparents on either side of the family can be more indicative of genetic inheritance than parents

long term pot smoking makes you a derelict and smoking in adolescence permanently fucks the brain

long term pot smoking makes you a derelict

jason  replies

i see how long term smokers are, just stupid

bottom line, relationships need money

if pigs had wings

and fish could fly

and the sea rolled up

and turned out to dry

why then

clouds would frolic

on swards of blue

the earth would boil

and all be gone

the last of the last

that’s this song

a young girl writing

a poet’s skill develops

she then abandons it

 why ?

i think poetry

is a discovery

most are slow to, or never make

language on a different plane

i think poetry

is a discovery

most are slow to, or never make

language on a different level

emily met herself and got confused

she was the horror, revolver, bullet

and assassin

ed.  the poem in  her own handwriting  has quite a different "feel" to reading the printed text

the world we measure

is not very wide

yet it frightens us

the abyss outside

freezes us

and we don’t want

to know

the problem with eihei dogen, is people don’t give a "philologically correct" translation

therefore all the translations are inaccurate

how can you meaningfully comment on what is inaccurate to start with ?

its not professional, hence the reams of blather

the way dogen is used is as a purveyor of lovely nonsense that idiots can craft their own sense into

young people considering a career would find it helpful to ask themselves  "what am i good at without trying"

the difficult can seem attractive because its difficult

wrong road

neither of you are putting enough emphasis on money, there’s whole myth about what you both are doing  "the lotus eaters"

love is a narcotic for women

i think writing compared to oral and this would also apply to art (painting, sculpture) is that being so persistent, they give more depth in time, more 3 or 4D so to speak, much more sophisticated shapes and contours which would also translate through to the representations

poems by children

its interesting what they have and what they miss

highly intelligent imagery and use of language

experience of life

juliet claims the stars are forlorn






to write like someone else

is a mistake

to write like yourself

is a mistake

to write

is not a mistake

i don’t know i have pursued any skill

but at my age

the ability to write

at least to my own satisfaction



i like writing

you can make worlds to be remembered

talk lacks density

to do this

those hominins

scribbling on cave walls

knew this

a tsvetaeva i have never known

marina is a nice name

a mad female soul


with the beauty of unreality

one of the traps

of talking to the mad

is they will talk to you forever

and at the end of forever

neither of you will be any





when i think back to orchestra performances before recordings, they must have been frighteningly non-persistent, a few concerts, then gone

it would seem downright weird today, simply not worthwhile

on the other hand a good performance must have seemed magical to the audiences, disappearing as fast as it came, leaving only the memory

a conductorless orchestra is a thing

it has its origins in the soviet russian  persimfans

i think a small orchestra like the orpheus has the interpersonal dynamic to keep things together with its wonderfully tight and synchronished  playing

but  mahler ?



no wonder half portugal is unemployed

they’re all in bed worrying about anxiety

there’s a lot of talent about

still there’s an eye

that goes for the center

very rare

you miss the boat

you miss the bus

and stand and look at them pulling away

what can you do ?

already ratbags

children at 14

stuck in their ways

at 16

blocks of concrete by 20

“ i need a dictionary sometimes to understand your posts ”

i have to look up words to, but i do look up/research words, the net is very good for that

5 am :

in the shower

a little too cold


a little too sober

somewhere between

"I don’t care" 


"still thinking of you"

the above poem and following homily by amber prunster

“ i’ve got one foot in a fairy ring and the other in a mossy bog ”

we half see things we do, that in a year

we will ask ourselves why we went ahead and made that mistake

delay and research can avoid this to some, but not every


the trouble with the net is there is so little consequence and energy required to create schizophrenic worlds, that competence is drowned and hunted out by toxic idiots promoting their schizophrenia

how different the true  super-competence  one sometimes comes across

cat’s childhood photos were interesting, she’s an "old soul" from old parents, weary of life already, a real life relationship between you would be a disaster, you would both be too much of a burden on each other

she had it right with a wealthy boyfriend

its not a good sign her constantly saying "i love you", trivializing her feelings, which means that the feelings are jangled autistic-style

i’m not really recommending anything at all, however she reminds me of an ex’s daughter, really damaged, like you and me, in an ideal world at 20 we would get 20 years with sufficient funds and no aging just to learn enough about life to make it navigable

“ i mean i bought a knife like two years ago on your recommendation ”

see you are stretching the truth here, i may have discussed it but i won’t have recommended it, just because i discuss something doesn’t mean i recommend it

its just to weary to oppose people all the time

how to make sense of the world

you can’t really

men brutally callous

women creatures of feeling



how to make sense of the world

you can’t really

men brutally callous

women feeling everything



its a fundamental rule of life, you don’t do irreversible things if you can help it

enough irreversible things happen already

from suicide to tattoos


old brains can’t adapt

a very few

still do

1  and  2  and  3  and  4 

endless the sums we must add up

to simplifiy

our understanding



1  and  2  and  3  and  4 

endless the sums we must add up

to simplifiy

our understanding




if you could predict the future

you'd be a rich man tomorrow

i can’t quite get to grips with  this translation   (by andrey kneller)  of a poem by a 21 year old marina tsvetaeva

anyway i have been reading a bit of her and wrote the following poem in reply

marina dreams of rowan trees

cut down

in all their


dream on sweet one

on that bourn

my retranslation  (below)  of the first two verses of marina’s poem

night’s chasm in which we appear and disappear

scatters empires and people

to history we are paucity

yet the emerald of my eyes, lilt of voice and golden hair

ensnares it all

one tomato

on my table

light red and green

a wet year

i neglected them

the others rotted

on the ground

ed.  i went to a lot of trouble to fertilise the soil properly and it grew prodigiously, but i didn’t stake it, more fool me

from  a poem  by alejandra pizarnik

her biography

in the night

the mirror for the small dead

everything turns to ashes

my  comment

its not ashes while it occurs is it ?

not everything turns to ashes, even though we may not see it

sometimes you can see something significant and it doesn’t register

sometimes you can see something and it doesn’t register

so i went to town on friday and unfortunately picked up a norovirus, from i assume, eating in town without washing my hands  —  soap and warm/hot water is needed for norovirus, alcohol-based [60 - 80%] sanitisers work for enveloped viruses like corona, but not unenveloped like noro

i had bought some fresh salmon keeping it on ice and eating it today  (monday)  it has kept very well, suprising as fresh fish can go off very quickly, even on ice

you, the reader may wonder sometimes about the people i correspond with, here’s my reply to one that may raise eyebrows

that knife  is useless for any practical purpose you might have, you are not a mobster assassin

just to have a knife of that nature on you will get you into more trouble than you can handle

my experience with butchering a lot of the tough skinned feral pests that we have around here is what matters with a knife is having a good firm grip and a sharp edge, a problem a diamond steel solves

childhood dreams

exotic places

on the net

they turn out to be

just more people

“ i know if you’re given a poet’s voice

 all the rest will be taken from you ”

marina tsvetaeva



when you don’t eat for several days

the brain goes awol

when you don’t eat for a while

the brain goes awol

ask yourself, is the result worth the effort ?

ask yourself, is the result worth the time ?

soto deepens narcissism

what can i say ?

all the fuss about coronavirus

and what do i get

the norovirus

twelve hours of nonstop vomiting leaves a mark

ed.  changing viral transmission characterstics like "lock-down" and "social distancing" brings a different set of viruses to the fore, in this case the norovirus is persistent on surfaces

it surprises me the degree of hostility i get on the web

they don’t like what i say

narcissists are so sure of themselves

read the signs

and don’t be caught

one of the surprises of the covid-19 lockdown

relatives turning up on one’s facebook page

if you are buying a car; reliability, ease and cost of repairs before features and "luxury"

if you really want to be stung, you can buy a range-rover with a BMW engine

cars these days seem to be more disposable toys

i’ve got a virus

you just have to wait and wait

and wait and wait

until things get better

ed.  rest and stopping eating with the occasional teaspoon of jam in hot water to keep the stomach lining coated with sugar is what as worked for me before, i don’t think its covid because my lungs and sense of smell are fine, most likely just the usual with autumn, in this case, i think its a norovirus aka "the winter vomiting bug" which i think 12 hours of nonstop vomitng qualifies me for

artwork  by jason

you can see the thinking is different, so unlike the steaming piles of phakic shit on the net

to get a reputation as an artist you have to start producing in quantity

it would pay to read up on andy warhol who certainly knew how to "commercialise"

if women were hermaphrodites

and could get pregnant by themselves

some would

if women were hermaphrodites

and could get pregnant by themselves

they would

a wrong road

i turned down

it turned out it was not so much wrong

as i needed correcting


i need not

have taken it

søren kierkegaard

an anti-gordian untangler of his day’s morality



he broke through


the  dealership  deliberately doesn’t list items to snare the innocent, they present the other stuff after the first repair as needing doing and the base overinflated price has already been set

don’t underestimate the cunning of dealers, what breaks the spell is your video, they may retaliate its so damaging to them

when people don’t answer your points

and skive off

into their own agenda

get out



omnipresence is redundant



for the trinity

“ you don’t go anywhere if sussing out ideas is your aim ”

you go somewhere by sussing out ideas

r|zen is a festival for borderline personality

the self-love is so thick you can cut it

 what is not a story ?

everything is a story

except the story that is not

a story saying everything is a story

except the story that is not

“ people whose diets consisted mostly of highly processed meats, starchy foods like potatoes, and snacks like cookies and cakes, were more likely  to have dementia  years later than people who ate a wider variety of healthy foods ”

“ more diversity in diet, and greater inclusion of a variety of healthy foods, is related to less dementia ”

“ words destroy meaning ”

spot the recursion ?

“ proof ”

i think the skill is handling the recursion so it is meaningful

"words building meaning"

"meaning" and "meaningless" are mutual subsets of each other, but all the same there is a road out of nonsense

“ what happens after death ? ”

why are you asking me ?

go to a cemetery and have a conversation



if that doesn’t tell you ideas about god are wrong

what does ?

my reply  (below)  to some nonsense i got in reply to the above

i think you have to "prioritize" ideas in terms of "correctness" or "utility" otherwise you don’t go anywhere, a problem in r|zen btw

i do see a lot of "everything is equal" in zen and its a cop out

i don’t treat "god" like a fixed idea, but i am actually asking what god is and even if you can ask what god is

you are building stories for something you have no experience of

why ?

some young women

are smart enough

to use young men

as a sink hole

for the energy

of delayed reproduction

young men are blind

the other side of sex is pregnancy

they get caught in the holocaust of parenthood

before they know it


endless and wrong






there’s useless words and words that map reality

all these vibrant young women who a couple of generations ago would already be married and pregnant, there’s all that energy with no outlet, maybe they want to look for an outlet that is productive and gives them intellectual growth

i thought i heard laughter

but it was the neighbour’s chooks

i thought it was laughing

but it was just the neighbour’s


you  (ed.  brad warner)  have it inside out with zen, the "mystical experiences" are primary, zen is just so much btw like everything else

when i would say this on r|zen it would really upset people, simply because lacking these experiences they required i be invalid or they were talking nonsense

the reality is the vast majority of people will never have these experiences or at least will never be able to integrate what does occur and the trouble with the "zen system" is the experiences are "synthesized" and not genuine, its really just so much fakery, the only genuine thing i found was zazen taught me to examine myself, but of course, one outgrows it as unnecessary, you just do it on the fly and put in "contemplative time" on a daily basis

the most unpalatable fact of ch'an/zen that western audiences find is that the real tradition was celibate and the version of zen in the western world is actually a political fascist construct as japan was never "denazified" in the way germany was, easy to see if you have ever been in a "boot camp" like mt.tremper

people just want "window dressing" for their lives and self esteem and that’s all it amounts to with very shoddy curtains, furniture and wallpaper i have to say, "the futurological congress" really

the most disturbing trend in zen now is its use as a background justifying pissing your life and brain away with drug use

we have already been getting cold type coronaviruses since forever

people have huge differences in their susceptibility to serious complications from covid-19 based on their genetic immune halotypes

the use of quick effective tests for the disease and antibodies will become normal for international travel

the disease mutates to fit different "halotypes" for better infectivity and the different mutations have widely varying virulence

much less resource intensive ways of handling serious complications have been developed and some potentially remedial drugs have been identified

the most worrying aspect is that it can leave permanent footprints of damage, its not a disease you get once without too much consequence and have permanent immunity, you don’t want to get it and immunity will vary from not much at all to several years

it did not escape from a chinese laboratory but has developed over many years by a constant exchange between people and pangolins in chinese wild animal markets

yes i read the science, from that point of view and modern communications the world has never been so well equipped to deal with it which as just as well as pandemics have destroyed so many of the previously great civilizations

asia needs to stop the sale of certain wild animal species like bats, civets, pangolins and anything endangered or cruel or its just a question of waiting until another possibly nastier pandemic disease comes along, science already knows the problem animals, its a job for WHO, but they seem to failing in their brief


yakking to each other


meanwhile, living bog

glory on

women have better verbal dexterity than men

why would you think otherwise ?

women have better verbal dexterity than men

why anyone would think otherwise

i don’t know

if the coronavirus has shown one thing

its the intellectual paucity

of the average journalist

"blather" doesn’t describe



young children

all the energy of life

it goes



language interprets and models the world

if it disrupts that modelling

look out

john keats

themed the elgin marbles into the grecian urn

where he lives forever




john keats

themed the elgin marbles into a grecian urn

where he lives forever





seamstress of tragedy

the stone apollo in her st. petersburg flat



a life out of time

immersed in bloody unreason

ed.  my reply to  a poem  by anna akhmatova

how definitive can you get on sir henry neville being  the real author  of shakespeare’s plays ?

if you’ve got any shares in "stratford-on-avon"


when i walked through shakespeare’s house i thought, this man never wrote those plays

try as you might, you can’t ignore your past, it needs addressing almost constantly because it is part of who you are

try as you might, you can’t ignore your past, it needs addressing almost constantly because it is who you are

don’t try to impose your way of living on others, as a poplar and birch are different, so are people

underpaid doesn’t describe writing as a career, "anti-paid" does

anything that’s not writing pays better

money anyway

i have a somewhat patchy electrical skill background and never understood how an alternator worked and always wondered

a good video  explaining

multimeters are inexpensive, know how to use one and you will save yourself heaps

there’s something really crazy about japanese culture and the way they look at things, they must always be on the brink of some new self-inflicted disaster

there’s something really crazy about japanese culture and the way they look at things, they must always be on the brink of some self-inflicted disaster

when you look at the complexity of a biological organism, i don’t think even god is up to the task of designing it

"design" in this sense is an emergent property of a fractal like "does it work" or "doesn’t it work", ongoing questions that spin on in evolution forever

or at least during the state of the universe where chemical conditions make it possible

some-one quotes me then makes a comment

“ "humility" is in fact your subordination to this better "objective" truth ”

this reminds me of an encounter with a fortune cookie saying

"agreement and disagreement are not preferences"

this means one should not prefer to agree or disagree

jolly good  .  .  .  far better than "your fortune is in the next cookie"

my  reply

"agreement and disagreement are preferences", to me that is correct and your fortune cookie quote is not

i don’t feel the need to say what it means, you felt you needed to provide an "interpretation" of what you have assigned status as inviolate "sacred script"

the  "new testament of fortune cookies"

in routine things people wouldn’t last a day if they weren’t constantly assessing if they are wrong

how is it people get these extraordinary ideas they can follow for a lifetime without ever assessing if they are wrong ?

people don’t think of lions having "brains", but they do, they’re an intelligent animal

"social justice" is a tchotchke

interestingly phonetic btw

the human bees

try to keep the hive together

the human bees

trying to keep the hive together

charlie chaplin is a  dunning-kruger  comedy as well it might be in the years of  WWI


“ do you think there is any value in humility ? ”

if you want to understand something better, you have to be open to the fact you don’t understand it which means you have to invest in objectivity, not the blind regurgitation of religious nonsense, genuine "inquiry" is a completely different paradigm to that usually embarked on

you have to also be alert to having a good grasp of something because the turds do nothing but try to grind you down with your better expressed understanding

"humility" is in fact your subordination to this better "objective" truth, but they are few who take this road

wow, this really took me back to my stay at the kwan-um providence center, an important part of my life and i had forgotten how impressive the chanting was

the leaves have all dispersed in the wind



lost forever

zen/ch'an went off the rails from the start, the "song of awakening" by yongjia xuanjue is bullshit and the amount of energy spent in the later following centuries on fawning commentaries of this bullshit is, i am afraid the truth of the matter, idiots promote idiocy, how they can waste their lives in this way, i do not know

yongjia xuanjue was never enlightened

understanding, not at lesiure, dodging the tigers








the idiots

spawning a trail of construction

leave a burden of deconstruction

this is the way

of the tao

if you don’t understand something and you think there’s something to it, it pays to go back later, can be days and try to figure it out, that’s all "zen" is, this improvement in understanding from figuring things out, there’s another level of engagement, not the social chit chat

my writing is that level of engagement, even to read me you have to turn your brain, that’s why people get so upset with what i write

yeah those  taiko drums  are cool and actually its a very modern form except for the drums themselves

there’s a wide world out there and it needs to be searched out, not blinkered like people seem to take "zen" as excuse for

the way i do things, everything is on edge

its a wonder i don’t get cut more often

considering the size of brad warner’s reading audience, viewing audience and travels he is absolutely the lowest paid "teacher" i have ever come across, he needs to start charging for some things, people on the net are very "using" of the "volunteer" time of others, its easy to fall for their bullshit

GEN Z, manipulative incompetent sophistry inwired into its soul

ed.  "sophistry" is arguing to deflect and deceive without it being detected, something today’s younger generations are very good at

solipsism, you are the defining reality of your life

“ don’t cast pearls before swine ”

its not just the loss of the pearls, but the pigs drag you down

what i notice is that most people don’t equate an improved ability to write and reason on paper or the screen with zen, yet its the area that returns the most if you put the time in and are open to it

people seem to equate writing with your usual conversational expression, though often way more dishonest because no-one pulls you up for bullshit on the net and the next level up is not even understood to exist

"teaching" is a farce, there’s no money in it, the "students" are all narcissistic borderland personality types and just suck your time for their gratification, the "teachers" themselves don’t understand their subject, so its all some sort of purgatorian hell

even just reading fully what they are replying too would be a big improvement for most, this ADHD picking of a few words from a post then reconstructing a meaning from that is unbelievably common from these "in their own eyes" masters

hubricity and stupidity run riot

i got the usual idiot reply to this

my  reply

you are exactly what i was complaining about, don’t bother to read what was written, pick out a couple of words to reply to, and then to cover the fact you are too intellectually diminished to understand what was written, reply in a couple of "deflections" and "declamations"

god its depressing that this is standard GEN Z fare, manipulative incompetent sophistry inwired into its soul

you can have the patterns of mental illness

but not be mentally-ill

the problem with "teaching" is its not very remnant

whereas if i write something its remnant

i remember a poem by charles bukowski where he is bored out of his mind day after day dragging on endlessly, just smoking and drinking i guess, maybe something you can do in the climate of los angeles

i’m sorta envious of that, except the drinking and smoking, an endless changeless nothing going on forever

a WW2 story about werner heisenberg

“ heisenberg lectured in neutral switzerland.  the united states office of strategic services sent agent moe berg to attend the lecture carrying a pistol, with orders to shoot heisenberg if his lecture indicated that germany was close to completing an atomic bomb ”

a very able man, he was quite capable of organising the development of the atomic bomb, its just the nazis regarded it as too long term a project and didn’t fund it

if he had tapped into the japanese bomb research program and both japan and germany had adequately funded the development ,  sabine  could be one of the "master race" lecturing us racial defectives

its fascinating that germany did the science for the atomic bomb on the cusp of WW2, two of the research group responsible ,  lise meitner  and her nephew ,  otto frisch ,  had to  flee germany  as they were racially jewish (meitner was a convert to lutheranism)

you can see that the nazi regime, through the vehicle of its policies which enabled its rise also were the actuality of its eventual failure, the atomic bomb development was literally passed to the americans in the year leading up to the war

the reich on a large scale destroyed an extraordinarily large and productive part of its middle class, it was only possible to lose the war on that basis

as an interesting aside, heisenburg though not jewish ran into trouble with the SS due to conflict with "deutsche physik", however his mother was a friend of himmler’s mother so managed to get himmler to give him "a pass"

why does everybody have to  mimic toni  ?  you need to be yourself with your own thoughts

"teachers"  become trapped behind a glass wall of a lack of "non-permission" of criticsm

i actually have to say i don’t think its a healthy thing to be "a teacher"

in the context of  "springwater"  i know it hurt toni, she was too obliging

as "springwater" gets more into the  "net"  it will be tempted to censor which to some extent will need to be done to weed out the incorrigible schizophrenics, but keeping the useful stuff is a definite skill

better open than closed, you learn a lot at the extremes only it takes a bit of finesse not to be damaged by it

let’s be honest, a lot of finesse which is not necessarily successful

interestingly david hume developed his  bundle theory  from the indian/asian religious notion of the skandhas or "five aggregates"

its the claim you can know an object by its properties and the aggregation thereof  (an infinite regress you should already be suspicious of)

the conceptual flaw is that you have to list consciousness as both super-ordinate and subordinate

when you do that the theory unwinds

"teachers" become trapped behind a glass wall of a lack of "non-permission" of criticsm

i actually have to say i don’t think its a healthy thing to be "a teacher"

in the context of "springwater' i know it hurt toni, she was too obliging

have you ever noticed how consistently hostile human interaction is

there’s always an edge of resistance

breaking through

there is a wall reason doesn’t go beyond

i think that you are looking for more reason than there is

hyenas, wild dogs, lions, leopards

forever at war with each other

like human clans

returning memories

triggered associatively

looking back

the years intervene


not as bright

as they

were then

this a true story, an austrian jewish woman survived the holocaust by being married to a wehrmacht officer, he knew but no-one else did

to get married she had to prove aryan purity which she somehow fudged, obviously she lied to the registrar

after the war she confronted the registrar and his response was she committed fraud

the callous brutality of the simple minded


cloy to themselves


why does everybody  (ed.  at the springwater center)  have to mimic toni ?

you need to be yourself with your own thoughts

the sense of something is independent of language

though something may be much better expressed

in one language compared to another

depending on its optimizations

translations have this limitation

you cannot transfer

the meaning

lock stock and barrel

from one language

to another

when you write

fold meaning

let the reader unfold it

most won’t

when you write

fold meaning

let the reader unfold it

i cut my hair for the first time in my life, i have trimmed it before, but the full scale cut went surprisingly well

i think you need a night’s sleep between washing the hair and cutting it so that when you come to cut it, it is falling in its natural shape, even combing it may not be good idea as this disrupts the natural fall

the big advantage of cutting your own hair is you can trim it over the following days as the shifting way the hair falls reveals new flaws that need to be removed

i’m in no hurry to get it professionally trimmed and in terms of shared air space, i would say being a hairdresser is a high risk profession for covid transmission, right up there with dentistry and  otorhinolaryngology

i could go feral, pine boletes, saffron milk cap and wallaby

when they substitute analogies for real reasoning

look out !

losing your  sense of smell  seems to be a consistent sensitive early indicator of getting COVID-19

i have never paid much attention to my sense of smell so i am learning more what i notice in the way of smells

its a good indicator of encroaching alzheimers too, though i am not so sure one wants to know that

all my reading of the covid virus is you don’t want it, even if you have relatively few symptoms, it can be quite damaging to the lungs and other organs and has the potential of neuro-psychiatric problems

i think people are going to have to learn to identify early symptoms very quickly and self-isolate

of course there will be the usual nutcases who deliberately spread to others and the ignorant in denial

smoking increases the number of receptors the virus binds to in the lungs, anybody who still smokes has a mental health problem

when i see people with COVID-19 in hospital on the media they are all supine, but if you are in "acute respiratory distress" you are better to be prone; D.  in  figure one  is why the prone postion gives better lung recruitability

“ patients who did not receive prone positioning had poor lung recruitability, while alternating supine  (face upward)  and prone positioning was associated with  increased  lung recruitability ”

what i find objectionable about these "morality tales"  (ed.  no.  24 in the shinji shonogenzo or no. 29 in the blue cliff record)  is its just basically pompous asses telling people garbage, who do they think they are ?  nishijima, the blue cliff record author, translators and  brad

it lacks nuance, decent expression, insight, its just the usual declamatory meta of babbling idiots trying to overwrite reality to create an illusion of them knowing what they are on about when all they can do is copy nonsense

the readers can’t read

and rewrite what they think should be read


instead of listening

there’s something to  "following circumstance"

and also something not

does it mean anything at all ?

look at the voice it comes from

the breathing of sick men

it you can’t work out that’s toxic

is there any hope ?


i am asked

hi, what do you think "following circumstances" means ?

my  reply

i am very wary of when people move away from common use english to craft their own schizophrenic meaning, a fault one sees a lot of in "spiritual writings"

the right answer is its nonsense because its not actually understandable english
"adapt to circumstance" is more recognisable but hey big deal, hard to puff yourself up as a zen master on that

so much of zen is what i call voynich, if you want to know what voynich is, research the "voynich manuscript"

its bullshit crafted to look like it has deeper meaning, something that has the dumb idiots on r|zen fluttering like moths around a radioactive lamp

let me recover the meaning

a monk asked ta sui

"what do i do if there is a conflict between the scriptures and what a situation requires"

ta sui spit into the ground and said

"adapt to circumstance"

knurled surfaces

embroidered, decorated, raised, lifted

something to the touch

but not to the brain

knurled surfaces

embroidered, decorated, raised

something to the touch

but not to the brain

knurled surfaces

embroidered, decorated

something to the touch

but not to the brain

a summer’s day

shimmering in memory

 how often ?

not so often

jane austen was known for her anti-natal views and an underlying theme of  "emma"  is the death of young mothers, three of the central characters all lost their mothers at a young age

mr. woodhouse’s horror of his daughters and mrs. weston being married is not without foundation

we like a story

the fragmentation of uncertainty disturbs us

it is not that things are not as they appear to us

but our construction of that appearance

constantly varies

we like a story

so we are told stories

and not much else actually

the fragmentation of the untold, unknown



communal truths have no place in absolute truths


its inherent in the dynamic

the number of people on the web

living in the echo chamber of how wonderful they are

amazes me

“ but when or how will we inoculate society against a plague of injustice ? ”

when people no longer have children

arguing with the insane

not my favourite pastime

however it can be productive

you see things in extremes

not really possible

any other way

​ why spend your life  (ed.  TheTarutau)  writing bullshit ?  i have criticized brad for being schizophrenic in his development of a claimed buddhism well outside the public domain conception of what buddhism is

i would make the criticism of your behaviour being schizophrenic in the sense you are clearly replying to me and seeking me out yet dissing and paying no attention to what i am saying, i get this a lot on message boards, seeking validation from me, yet dissing what i say

really given my response to you you should not be writing/telling to me if you really believe on your own "rightness" versus mine

if as you claim, you are homeless yet are prioritizing a wife and family to be in your future life, you need financial security and a home, something not to got by wasting time bullshitting on brad’s vlog

the truth of zen is it is a celibate solipsist tradition and makes no sense in any other context

in terms of  "mystical inquiry"  "fear of death"  is a dead end

and even death itself is a dead end

apart from the pun

: o )

they are both just non-useful ideas

paranoid fantasies are not reality

explanations fail, not because the explanation is wrong, but people won’t investigate further or make the necessary changes to their understanding

“  Do you think what you’re doing is the correct ?  Or are you also wrong about everything ? ”

this is the point about coming from a number of different angles, if you look at an explanation/ supposition/ hypothesis ten different ways and it all adds up then that is objectively certain so i never have to entertain the question of whether i am wrong or not, but rather the degree of certainty that comes from different avenues arriving at the same place, for instance that "buddha" is a fiction i would say at least six or seven avenues lead to that conclusion

i think generally people just take the one avenue and then stupidly street fight it when if they took a more "baysian" or "multiple" approach they would see the error and the stupidity of defending the undefendable/nonsense

but of course they just invest in "the right one way"

an interesting consideration of the fictionality of buddha is to look at actual historical prophets and see how the reality differs

well we are on different trajectories, you are after self improvement, i’m after sorting out what life is about

its a difficult problem and you have to come from a number of different angles, but one day you dial the safe lock almost accidentally and it opens, everything is so different afterwards i sometimes wonder if its better to have never opened it and be ignorant but of course, opened or not there is still trauma in spades

they call it zazen or meditation, but basically they are putting in a bit of reflective time or "introspection"

it has its uses, but it also has its limits

there’s no problem that solves from one direction only

remove one card and the whole card house falls down

what is that card ?

buddha being an historical person

“ what is the card house ? ”

the card houses are zen and buddhism, its a fundamentally different paradigm of reality if people like buddha, jesus, muhammad and moses existed historically, it implies an "effability" to religion that validates it

if these people are fictions then its just glorified soap opera

buddhism has it origins as an early form of a "merchant bank" and buddha gives lots of sage advice on the pitfalls involved in lending

you  (ed.  brad warner claiming zen is a religion for skeptics)  isolate yourself too much from real world zen, i’ve seen the "flavours" having travelled extensively and talked to many many zen teachers and i have never seen a  "skeptical"  zen, indeed you are the only claimant i have come across

some forms like at the rochester zen center and mt. tremper have strong belief systems and are overtly buddhist, in fact the springwater center broke away from rochester and kapleau because of that and they are no longer a zen center, but do "meditative inquiry"

its springwater and toni packer you have most in common with, krishnamurti as well and not zen, but you have not made the transition, what at least made partial sense for nishijima in the japanese cultural context does not make sense for you in the west

i don’t want to be unpleasant, but this highly idiosyncratic development of ideas in conflict with what is actually happening in the public real world is a defining characteristic of schizophrenia

another characteristic of schizophrenia, is nothing you say makes any difference and i am sure that will be your response to this comment

you have a very serious problem, i am sure others tell you

when they become obsessed

with you

the why of it


occurs to them

the talentless





thinking somehow

to gain from you





all art and writing comes down to only this one thing

the ability to regenerate the brain to continue viewing, reading or listening to the work and not get fatigued

the eye is an extremely complex bio-mechanical system

when you put a plastic lens in, you are distinctly changing the biology and mechanics

everyone breaks the law in little ways all the time

people break the law in little ways all the time

if you are wondering whether you have become more short or long sighted you can try a  duochrome test  to be sure of the direction

letters clearer on the red mean you need  more minus

“ I will not trouble you again ”

that’s my dearest wish, but you fakes always seem to have something that sticks in your throats that won’t leave you alone, could it be the taste of your own bullshit is difficult to ignore ?

all that hostility going to try to shape the world to what you want it to be

why ?

when they

twist what you say

make unbacked assertions

ignore the points you make






pine boletes, saffron milk cap and silver beet for dinner, freshly picked

at least i think it was saffron milk cap with the drop shapes on the stalk

i guess i will find out  (ed.  they were ok)

i haven’t talked to anyone for at least a week


the neighbour though living by himself has woman trouble

a poem by the australian poet david campbell

the cruel girls we loved

are over forty,

their subtle daughters

have stolen their beauty

and with a blue stare

of cool surprise,

they mock their anxious mothers

with their mothers’ eyes

these people

they seek my approval but won’t listen to a word i say

if i contradict them they get upset and try to grind me down



and wearing

the worst is their attempts to copy me

it is really weirding to read

yourself distorted and misunderstood by arseholes bent on fucking you over

i specifically singled out your  (ed.  thetarutau)  reading junk as the major issue

if you are going to swim in a sewer, you are going to belch sewage aren’t you

if you can’t follow the folds in my thinking

you won’t understand what i write

its like origami

no object without the work

i don’t claim to completely understand anyone or anything for that matter, its all a process, you just do the process

“ i would like to know more if you’re willing to share, what makes you pick this one  (ed. zen/buddhism/religion)  to rail against ? ”

that’s a good question and i have thought about that occasionally and think its because except for the first few years, all my schooling was in church  (anglican/episcopalian)  boarding schools so i have a lifelong burden of walking that "shit" out of my system

zen is quite a convenient target because it has "deconstruction" eg "buddha is a shit stick" built in so its relatively safe, the same could not be said for islam for instance

also my background in zen is very substantial having travelled visiting teachers two decades ago on balance having quite a good time and lucky to come across toni packer who did periods of residence at the springwater center when i was staying there

also there is an "energy" in destroying these vast human edifices

if you think there’s any order and rationality to life, it only exists at the very highest levels of abstraction

"TheTarutau"  asks

two quick questions you actually meditate and you go to retreats alot right ?  what happens during a retreat ?"

my  reply

i don’t do zazen because i worry about its effect on my circulation and joints at my age, however i put about two hours every evening into "contemplative" or do nothing time.  i live by myself, hermit like really, so its all pretty much retreat

retreat is just "doing nothing" time, ideally you are in beautiful surroundings and can go for walks

the big catch is the brain needs something to work on which can be real life observations or come from quality reading, your big problem is not that lack of retreat but the " Junk" you read and imbibe, if you just turn nonsense you are going to get nonsense

so you don’t actually have to go on retreats with others, you can do it yourself, the big advantage of retreats with others is the socialising skills gained which a lot of people  (including myself)  seem to need

the big disadvantage of group retreats is the culty bullshit and crazy, useless teachers

when i was involved with real life zen groups, i could never sit zazen by myself, but only in the group context

thetarutau gave his usual crazy nonsense in reply

my reply

you haven’t read what i wrote, its sort like paper with extra folds, you have to do the folds to get the shape

what is manic is you working on black and white categorys such as "she likes me" or "she doesn’t like me"

i keep telling you, you don’t understand women, but it doesn’t get through

why not work on seeing past the veneer ?

they operate on "sums", pluses and minuses and are calculating constantly, the only light for men is they often get the sums wrong which give them  (men)  a break  (lol for all the good it does them)

honestly, my definition of "mentally ill" is when correct explanations fail

honestly, my definition of "mentally ill" is when explanations fail

my reply to " TheTarutau" on brad’s vlog

you need the retreat experience to gain more insight into yourself, you are dreaming if you think you can understand zen with no sesshin or weekly group sit experience

i really would appreciate you not replying to me until you get some retreat experience, i have been through so many mentally ill people caught in a blather of words not prepared to any real investigation of it

my view is you are mentally ill and of that ilk, please keep away, you burden my time with no consideration, that is, narcissistically

nobody ever "handles" another person right, its like trying to calm a hurricane

if you get involved with a woman, you business in life becomes the support of her and her children, regardless of whether they are yours or not

if there are no children, then the support becomes of the potential, again regardless of whether they can materialise or not

sabine hossenfelder asks “ what is reductionism ? ”

my  reply

can you explain consciousness from the reductionist viewpoint ?

you can in terms of information "broadcast" and highways between different parts of the brain, but in terms of the thing itself ?


there is a recursive element in "reductionism", that the process itself cannot be reduced which makes it nonsensical

if you eliminate "reductionism" as having no necessity or utility i don’t see there is a problem, rather "scientific progress" is made by untangling recursions, notably einstein untangling the information nature of light from physical effects

vincent van gogh wasn’t psychotic, he was autistic and as artists go, unusually sane

he probably had some degree of heavy metal poisoning from the pigments he used and alcohol eventually killed him, or rather, got him killed

all in all, i feel he would have been better never to have lifted a paint brush in his life

i didn’t say she was "bad", its just you are a dreamer when it comes to women, you are building "castles in the air"

from ages 16 to 24 they have a huge power and an agenda even they don’'t understand that they move to fulfil

you  write

"anyway i can’t deny that she likes me, unless she is just playing with me which i haven’t figured out yet.  then again i feel like they’re always manipulating"

you can see the "manipulation", so why aren’t you more "sceptical"

everybody has some crazy ideas

crazy enough that if they were mentally-ill

we would think

that’s why they are mentally-ill

but if they are not mentally-ill

we think

they are just crazy ideas

ed.  i don’t want people to be offended by my use of "mentally-ill", perhaps they have relatives etc., you have to be robust when reading my writing

in this case what i am really saying is people can have really crazy ideas yet still function "normally" and this gives an insight into the "nature of reality" and how it works, namely, deeply divided segments that don’t communicate too well with each other

notions of "repair" for schizophrenia are ill-founded

they just want to drag you down into their reality





like hector berlioz

awakening  in a crazy dream

this world

a mad frenzy of witches and devilry

nothing makes sense

stupidity rules

writing forever

complete nonsense

while applauding it






all is unstable

the pendulum swings

all is unstable

the smooth seas exist for a moment



storm clouds

“ be a light unto yourself ”

the buddhist "scriptures" are all second rate bullshit, napoleon and picasso have much better quotes with good insight, why do you bother with that sort of religious nonsense ?

don’t be a light unto yourself, it doesn’t work

what makes zen a religion is you have to believe in the historical existance of buddha, without a privileged source of information the whole thing just becomes the soap opera it is

andy warhol spawned the whole faux but super expensive art scene

money for jam if you work the publicity machine right

giacomo casanova  was right, the rich stupid deserve to be stung

columbus’s sailors  introduced  syphilis to the americas and not vice versa

there was syphilis  in pompeii

this is a core theological problem

if you argue there is some other reality, god or the absolute, infinity, some condensed causal separation of this reality we are or we imagine ourselves to be in, how do we access the causal reality ?

dogen very specifically says zazen is the gateway to final truth, or at least in his younger days he said that

if you are one of the very very few genuinely enlightened, you understand the access and that’s about all you can understand, though there are associations like the time spent in "contemplative work" that cannot be denied

i personally think dogen never did much zazen on returning to japan, his contemplative work was actually his writing, and as we know he did an awful lot of that, you have the irony of the soto cult and its anti-intellectualism being founded by a rampant hyperlexic, hakuin with his overt artistry was reacting against this

the way i have seen zazen used is as a social control technique, it makes the zennist susceptible to imbibing the usual religious nonsense so they become members of what is a cult, brad seems intelligent enough, but unable to pick the contradictions in whatever doctrine he seems to be espousing

to answer your question, if you do something to improve "access" to the sacred, if such a thing were so then its not unreasonable to expect some reciprocity by the sacred, getting TB or having a shadow syndrome of huntington’s disease is not the sort of reciprocity one would expect

you know, buddha, one day ,  tiring of the importunity of the disciples decided to give them all syphilis and in later years still claimed it was the best thing he had ever done

a "job-ian" conundrum for you  (ed.  brad warner)

if, as dogen claims, zazen is a "sacred state"

why did he die of  TB ?

was he singled out by buddha in a dispute with mara ?

please tell

were you singled out in a dispute with mara ?

false constructions endless

shaken out


the time

the past

this wall of unchangingness we can do nothing about

the future, so many ways of occurrence

so little control and a lot of blindness

this movement we call being

there is such a wealth of information, culture, history on the web these days

why do so many have such an impoverished world view ?

michael tilson thomas  explicates mahler ,  no wonder the first symphony is a work of such listenable genius, it was a mature work despite gustav’s young age

clockwork  nefs ,  the owning of which was an obsession amongst 16th century rulers

there is a good video at the end

nostlagia is not simply excessive dwelling in the past, but an imaginative tableau of what the past was like

it is in part

a work of schizophrenic fiction

nostlagia is not simply excessive dwelling in the past, but an imaginative tableau of what the past was like

it is in part

a work of fiction

tableaux of heaven or an afterlife is a vain attempt to make sense of our lives and morality

too traumatised by dissolution, they prefer to believe bullshit

why my poetry is never going to be popular

to even understand then you have to turn the mind a bit

the hoi polloi won’t do that

why my poetry is never going to be popular

to even understand then you have to turn the mind a bit

not for the hoi polloi

on and on

 what does that mean ?

endless beyond endless

we terminate

before it stops

on and on

 what does that mean ?

endless beyond endless

we terminate

before it finishes


rain riven

painting in a brown-grey wash

ed. a poem i wrote about twenty years ago at work by myself one evening, we were right next to a little estuary arm and it was raining

elena has changed somehow and the presentation style is  a bit different ,  more "movie like", i think its working, you both have to develop as "personalities" so people find some comfort in just who you are, not just the external objects of the catamaran and the places you visit

the mind

left to itself

curves in loops

that occupied

we never see


stargate ?

they mean "heaven’s gate" ?

how crazy can this shit get, maharishi meets a suicide cult ?


apologizing to some carrots for discarding them as being too old

quote lenin to an audience of kulaks at your own risk

don’t quote lenin to an audience of kulaks

"real" depression can be quite functional because you are open to looking at how things can be improved/ are going wrong

that is quite rare, the usual course is some fractioned shards disconsolate at how the world doesn’t suit them

bitches and bastards, steer clear of them, they want to damage you and shrink at anything to purpose

remembering that you are a guest anywhere will carry you much further trouble-free

no-one can predict the future

it can be better and worse than you can imagine

death literally does not make sense

i can understand leaving, loss, the death of others

but i cannot understand my own death

it seems senseless

leaving is a form of death or dying and actually saner than the final one with its nonsensical loss of memory and being

i wonder if artistry is to be damaged enough to see the working of the machine and competent enough to run it so its creates a different but informative and functional reality

god know i see enough of the damaged who are clueless about "mind" as a machine, its very depressing, brutal narcissistic thugs

the illusion of being

the reality of non-being

so we drift

unfortunate waifs

in the stream of life

the price for too much interest in the lives of others






don’t you weep pretty baby

the lyrics and meaning of that song have been shifted from their original meaning, the gem below copied from some comments in the link

“ i asked two of my great-aunts  (89 and 94 year olds  —  family labour day celebration, georgia  —  2015)  about the song.  one of them recoiled and the other went straight into it.  i played the video for them and they looked at me funny.  once the three of us started singing it, like 5 or 6 cousins  (47-73 year olds)  came over and started singing with us.  they said that it was about a slave that stole something.  they killed his wife/partner who had a baby not too long after they were searching for him.  this is kind of a mean lullaby that they would sing to taunt or threaten the slaves not to run away or thieve.  the way we sing it is a bit faster.  some said that it isn't really a lullaby, but more of a popular song that men used to sing doing field or rail work ”

go to sleep 'lil baby

go to sleepy 'lil baby

mama's gone away and daddy's gone astray

don't need no body but the baby

go to sleepy lil baby

'for the booger man get ya

mommie's gone

daddy's gone

ain't no body but the baby

everybody's gone but the cotton and the corn

don't need nobody but the baby

don't weep lil baby

don't weep my baby

he done run on with the shackles still on

ain't no body left but the baby

to the field house with the slayin'

master ain't even playin'

want a little more but the robber took the store

don't need no worries 'bout the takin'

go to sleep 'lil baby

go to sleepy 'lil baby

come lay the bones on the alabaster stone

and leave cause the devil comin' baby

go to sleep 'lil baby

go to sleepy 'lil baby

the web is so full of insanity that one is hard pressed to re-orient to sanity

pam ayres is quite good for this, normal with an eye for  the abnormality  of it all, gently and not so gently satirical

also a "stayer" ,  in part due to her not being an alcoholic or drug addict, how unusual ?

her early life

he has hubris, he is hubristic, he is hubric

so i’m coining something, hubric, hubris

you are lacking scepticism about the hubricity of people and their wanting to put one over

they feel the need to tear you down, that really tells you everything

the brain is very resilient, but you can’t have substance problems and expect to sort life out

the hubric will take advantage of the depressed when they can

how many really nice summer’s days do we get in a lifetime ?

which side of the wall are they on ?

the really talented, the different ones all seem to disappear into alcohol and cigarette smoke, not the wannabe bukowskis but those cut from the same cloth i guess

after i killed myself

i reversed the world

and was born into nothing

ed.  my replys to meggie royer’s superb  poem  "the morning after i killed myself"

after i killed myself

i reversed

born into nothing

the level of dishonesty and intractable hubris of the people supposedly interested in zen just amazes me

the talentless rushing to the defense of the talentless ?

everybody talks about "illusions" but nobody talks about their own illusions of their competence

no matter what message board

i post on

some-one turns up


tell me

how right they are

and how wrong i am

then they follow me around

for more of the same

why are they following me ?

too diffcult for them to think about


we come from different perspectives, prizes, books and magazine publishing mean less than anything, the bullshit of the crowds

i’m looking for poems that say something fresh/interesting, not the mindless blather of the masses, or even worse, MFA courses and that ilk

did you ever consider you had a personality disorder, you seem obsessed with trying to conform the world to your view ?

one man says left

another says right

yet another tries to mould them both into


when he encountered down

it made him


the pestilence of  "academic"  poetry writers

"dean young"  junk writer; "bob hicock"  inane; "david kirby"  not a complete write-off, but close

i like yusef komunyakaa and i wouldn’t call him "academic" at all

why is it the younger generations have mastery of sophistry and nothing else

it speaks heaps about a crazy, injuring education system

no specifics   /   just deflection   /   speaks volumes   /   i am afraid

no candidates   /   just deflection   /   speaks volumes   /   i am afraid

i challenge you to name one quality academic poet, that pathetic bunch of idiots with their sickening pretence of understanding anything except tenure and university politics

when you are driving you are continuously  interacting  with a lot of very random people

no wonder its fraught

i hadn’t thought of it that way

music is like anything else, its a craft so you can make judgement on it and within the industry its intensely done

you are on the way to becoming "professional" when you  switch  from using the right half of the brain to the left, from concious processes to automtatic unconcious ones

where you get "dunning kruger" is where people fail to recognise they are still right brained in whatever skill

my poetry writing has always been left brain so i guess that’s an inborn skill, however i will say there is some level of deliberate concious involvement, perhas more so as i am getting older

“ if creativity is defined in terms of the quality of a product, such as a song, invention, poem or painting, then the left hemisphere plays a key role

however, if creativity is understood as a person’s ability to deal with novel, unfamiliar situations, as is the case for novice improvisers, then the right hemisphere plays the leading role ”

i find youtube has altered my perception of what a musician is

when you hear some of these really good players you understand the difference between the talented who work at their skills and the talentless pretenders

jenny joseph is one of the best modern poets, her language is clunky, but she makes you think

she outshines most poets by her very good intelligence and incisive observations, however language was not her strong point

i think poetry is not an entertainment medium, its written for the poet and if others like some of the work, well good, but that’s not the primary intention

really in its own terms it doesn’t have to be more successful than the writer likes it

its not designed so much to be read as written

i was on a "spiritual search"

what i found was the absence of people

not the whole con artistry of the "spiritual" and religious "riff-raff"

i think a certain degree of talent and professionalism is required before the appellation "musician" can be given

its a genre that has ten thousand pretenders to anything real

i don’t think people react badly to "common-sense" its just that in a lot of situations there is a lack of it and it can be suppressed for societal structural reasons but individually, people usually respond well to it

these sleep-walking disciples and their elevation of very flawed gurus

butter wouldn’t melt in their mouths

but it was rancid

what’s "unnatural" is the relatively disease free period of the last fifty years

blind, disfigured, carrying contagious diseases has always been the norm

we have a lot of genetically wired social responses to anything that smacks of disease


the self assurance, talent and poise of this 12 year old  soprano  are astounding

not a great  baritone ,  but passable


the wind erodes us



the completion

the wind erodes us



the completion




ed.  the above is my "reworking" or "response" to the san bushman song below

the day we die

the wind comes down

to take away our footprints

the wind makes dust to cover up

the marks we left while walking

for otherwise it would seem

we had not left

therefore the wind is he who comes

to blow away our footprints

jason is getting better  production values

the  other image  makes a pair

if some-one doesn’t want to talk to me, i don’t talk to them

this is what makes "missionaries" so "unpleasant"

shovelling their unwanted shit in your face

what you don’t like to deal with

you try to invalidate

unpleasant for everyone around you

not that you care

this makes you "mad"

all your life you have not listened to the phrase "you are not wanted, go away"

neither pleasant or witty your reaction to criticsm

has kept you malfunctional

you are a disease descending on whatever you alight

burdening with your problems



instead of asking "what is the real me"

we could ask "what is the fake me"

and the answer mightn’t be that difficult

usually its the pretense of results in an area

we are not very effective

everything cometh

everything goeth

everything cometh and goeth


everything cometh

everything goeth

what you give attention to   —   resolves

what you don’t give attention to   —   walks away

rush, rush, rush

the waves rush

until we stop and stare

then it becomes different

rush, rush, rush

the waves rush

until we stop and stare

then there’s something different

rush, rush, rush

the waves rush

until we stop and stare

is the radius more fundamental than the diameter ?

yes it is. because its a line and being the unit

polka  danced by a russian children’s ensemble

god, buddha, the infinite spirit, whatever

why am i so attractive to the mad ?

what ruins  the kissing scene  in the 2020 emma is johnny flynn is just getting over an outbreak of herpes and you can see anya taylor joy kiss the side of his mouth its not on

risky anna, risky

apprently herpes is rife in acting communities, they are so promiscuous, there’s nothing destroys a movie like an outbreak in an actor, especially a romantic lead

the fuller scene

david hockney is a good example of a "statistical" artist, he’s prolific and some of his work is very much better or interesting at least than others

spring at his house  in normandy

the world is full of barbarism, why shouldn’t you show some humanity ?

these girls are getting  their feet ruined  for their lives

you have to wonder about the parents

you never get so much bullshit as in alcohol advertising

quality art requires not just that you seize the attention of the viewer, reader or listener, but that you maintain the interest through the fatigue of their involvement

this requires the ability to regenerate the brain ,  not an easy thing to do and what sorts the sheep from the million goats who fail

i think looking for continuums rather than switches is helpful in problem solving

for instance huntington's disease severity varies as a function of the number of  "GACrepeats  in the gene and i would say for sure you  (ed.  brad warner)  show some signs of having higher than the normal range, you are on the "continuum" ,  but not sufficiently so as to get into very overt neurological symptoms

another variable would be having other genes which help offset the effect of the repeats somewhat

the oxford versus the imperial model for the coronoavirus also seems to be a continuum, each marking boundaries of extremes, though you yourself are evidence of the oxford model being righter as you  caught the disease  probably about the sixteenth of december, any idea who you got it from ?

words of sense from the world’s   oldest man

its better to make a friend of a possible enemy than an enemy of a possible friend

i never give advice, otherwise you get the blame if it goes wrong

i have learnt just to accept things as they come and make the most of them

he’s in such good nick, he must have the mutation/gene expression that biases the immune system to kill more of its own cells to get the enemy, 101 is the upper limit of humans lacking this mutation/gene expression

those in their prime

their view is distorted

by the plentitude of health, strength and energy

nature puts that right of course

: o )

“ our research shows that fathers’ exposure  to alcohol  leading up to conception can have deleterious effects on the child’s brain and behavioral development ”

“ the neocortex, the most complex part of the mammalian brain responsible for complex cognitive and behavioral function, had patterning deficits where abnormal gene expression led to miswiring of connections ”

what is the real fact of murder ?

its not the "right or wrong"

but its irreversibility

everything pales into insignificance before this "goneness"

"tonglen" is typical of tibetan buddhism in the way it uselessly occupies your time and imo all breathing meditations fuck the brain

day in

day out

sleeping, rising, working

rest  vacuity  intensity


fleeing satisfaction

the circularity of living

day in

day out

sleeping, rising, working

the circularity of living

day in

day out

sleeping rising, working

the circularity of living

some-one talks meaningless rubbish

and they are paid much better than you


some-one talks meaningless rubbish

and they can’t see it


pure land

and the chanting

it does the brain in

you only have to talk to one

to see

pure land

and the chanting

it does the brain in

you only have to talk to them

to see

the prophet

if he could have seen

what was to come after him

would have packed up his bags

abandoned the companions








the rich and famous

just as much asses

as the hoi polloi

huh, brad warner likely had the coronovirus in december

“ From around December  the twentieth ,  2019 until around January 10th of this year I was sick with something that was exactly like they’re describing COVID-19.  I know that COVID-19 produces flu-like symptoms, and that what I had could have been just plain old flu.  But it wasn’t just the fever, body aches, and incessant dry cough that make me think it could have been COVID-19

I’ve read several accounts of people who’ve had COVID-19 who described the disease as progressing in stages.  First they got what seemed like a normal cold for 4 or 5 days.  Then they seemed to recover.  But then after 2-3 days the symptoms came back with a vengeance.  After this, some got really sick and had to go to the hospital, while most recovered ”

article     study

pure land buddhism is a sect up to its eyes in bullshit, chanting is for crazies

all these totally wrong ,  "spiritual"  "pop"  analogies that go nowhere, mental junk food, totally unleavened by any practical experience

i think when people go to too much trouble to explain some-one else’s work  (ed.  writing, art)  there is a problem

their own bankruptcy of ability leaves them stranded in stupidity

ballet by any other name would be an  igor moiseyev  folk dance ?

not everyone went to the gulag, both stalin and khrushchev liked folk dance

summer     old russian dances

married men

trying to keep their own reality

before the influx of female

well you are defeated before you start


own brain




eihei dogen

is not my god

not my prophet

he’s just another man







 poem ?

shifting perspectives

changing like the wind

is there more ?


everything has a cause

except  "the causeless"

more gobbledy gook ?

or is it ?

from what perspective would you say something was delusion ?

from what perspective would you say something was enlightened ?

endless meta

back and forth




religion is a medieval construct with beliefs one is compelled to adopt, at least publicly and is entwinned with supporting the state

such a large scale communal affair is necessarily going to be all messed up, to me, zen is no different from any other religion and has the same internal "deconstructive dissonance" of a very small number of mystics within it  (catholicsm got centuries more significance out of those jews, john of the cross and teresa of avila)

so if you look at the records of zen, even given the various distortions you can see that those who knew what they were on about eg joshu were engaged in a continual process of deconstruction and really, that’s about all they were doing

the basis of zen, the sixth patriarch and his  (supposed)  "platform sutra", again allowing for its being distorted is a very deconstructive document, just an endless refutation which is steven heine’s idea of "locus" rather than "object"

the weird thing is that the zen that came across from japan was a meiji era construct and designed to support the nationalist japanese state, japan was never "denazified" in the same way germany was, in part because the usa needed the support of post war japan against russia which explains the stupid "perversion" of current western zen, its treacherous to its core, japan’s most toxic export, you only need contact with the people involved to see that, twisted idiots fucking their own lives and everything else around them all pasted over with fine "empty" words

the problem with schooling is the utter inadequacy of most teachers to present their subject, so really one is worse off than before, better not taught at all, than taught badly

you see this when you come across  a good teacher ,  but they are rare

the most basic unit of maths imo is a line

of course with the net you can circumvent this

we are a society damaged by poor quality teaching

if there’s a piece of advice i’d give a couple planning to get married or have a defacto relationship, its this

have a very close look at both parents and if one is missing  (lol "in action") ,  don’t give the benefit of the doubt, research him/her further

you are marrying a deck of cards filled equally from both, what exactly they are, the years will clarify  (ed. show in spades!)

these soto clones who construct their lives around

the ramblings of some crazy writer of eight hundred years ago

these clones who construct their lives around

the ramblings of some crazy writer of many years ago

trying to understand infinity

is like trying to grasp a red hot poker

you only get burned

why do the brain dead always want to talk to me ?

i don’t want to talk to them

when you interact with something, your perception changes

modern life seems to be an observation only mode

“ love thy neighbour ”

yet  “ don’t unnecessarily irritate your neighbour or he will retaliate ”  seems like a revelation to some

narcissism imparts its obverse, empathy

narcissism imparts its obverses, empathy and altruisim

"gnosis"  turns out to be a con artist

and "don’t know" an intellectual cripple

"gnosis" turns out to be a con artist

and "don’t know" a retard

emotionally humans are much more like velcro than teflon, though some imagine otherwise

its all process, getting it right in one view is getting it wrong in another

thinking i get it right, now i have a suspicion of getting it wrong after a few pennies drop and just about always the suspicion is confirmed

one hour in about twelve seems to be the mix

ed.  re-reading the above, i realised it was similar to what the genjōkōan was saying, only much shorter, its not a big deal is it ?

poetry is the math that deals with the semantics of life

poetry deals with the semantics of life

its just a man, "jesus" is your own  projection , you want to be very careful of schizophrenic entwinings






nagarjuna rhythm





is not

the endless


of distinction



these people on the web who just make statements without substance or back-up that are so internally inconsistent its a joke

eihei dogen

the gate


bash their heads against

unlock the latch and go through

they are







ludwig waltz no. 1  composed and played by alma deutscher

i thought just another boring piano piece, but it is oddly gripping, i don’t know how she does that, continually fresh through till the end, she’s not the usual  "prodigy" detritus

to keep it fresh there must be regenerative elements to overcome the listening fatigue ,  its not just a question of continual novelty, that’s what makes great art i think

the waltz no. 2 doesn’t have that effect, maybe its the piano being a bit out of tune ?

maybe not

an odd city vienna, its had its share of "troubles"

writing is the other half of reading

meretricious   :   superfically attractive, but having no real value

people seem unable to understand that translations are strongly "interpretative" and not literal at all

you can’t understand this until you have done a few translations yourself

in the case of an author like eihei dogen living in a very different culture and time absolutely packed with allusions forever lost to us, to claim he said or wrote such and such is laughably ignorant

but that is the nature of religion

the dedication art and quality writing requires  is insane  by the standards of normality

an overview of lens replacement to go "spectacleless"

normally its in the context of people losing their sight from cataract, risks are balanced by benefits

do yourself a favour by reading the "waiver" form you will sign to get the operation, in simple terms its "buyer beware"

downsides are an increased risk of some eye diseases and "glistening" in the lens over a period of decades

IOL’s are slowly improving as is the surgery so there is benefit to getting it done later rather than sooner

an interesting  article  on prk/lasik/smile for high myopia, the author is plumbing for "smile" for high myopia

there’s two sorts of lens exchange, replacing (RefractiveLensExchange) a living lens with plastic or "explanting" which is replacing a plastic lens gone wrong with another plastic

the first operation is much more straightforward and safer than the second

the next stage in the coronavirus debacle is certification for people who have had the infection and are thus immune and not carriers or have had the vaccine when it becomes available

they will be only ones who will be able to cross country or state borders

this looks like carrying on for years

i did a rough calculation and i have written about one hundred thousand homilies and poems

surpsingly some of the writers from ancient rome and china wrote way way more, ink and paper or whatever is enough if the inclination is there

went to town yesterday, the hairdressers can only work on one person at a time as part of the new regulations so at one place the other hairdresser was cutting children’s hair in the alley beside the shop

beautiful windless late summer/ early autumn day though

what i notice about "noraly" are her extremely good social skills in dealing with people that makes for very improved getting around and safety in strange places

the island of taquile looks some sort of idyll away from anywhere at all and she stops off on a  floating reed island

if i had more time i would get a short film  (probably anime)  made of a script loosely based on the life of michizō tachihara with some of my retranslations of his poems, i think you could get something quite effective done for $100,000

i have a feeling he went through a few relationships that broke up because of his TB, i think there’s some potential for a tearjerker, maybe one of of the young women really loved him, but it wasn’t to be

you’d have to weave sub plots and other characters into it, all climaxing in his death and the start of world war 2, some real sense of the world out of control and life’s injustice

i’m not dreaming, with these freelance websites like fivver, you could really do it, from scriptwriter to animation

i do think to make something decent $300,000 is more realistic with no prospect of any income

there ,  just talked myself out of it, thank goodness

bye bye career as a director


 the talentless proxies for what ?

their own imagination

ed.  on  a reading  of the genjokoan

its dishonest not to mention the translators  (ed.  aitken and tanahashi from "moon in a dewdrop" two talentless half-arsed idiots if there ever were)

a translation is after all an interpretation and this sounds the usual highly stylised western take bearing little resemblance to the medieval japanese

western ears only want to hear what fits western cultural presuppositions

dogen was only 33 when that was written, the translation is bad and its an immature work, the craziness of people pretending zen is something more than fiction, actually zen being fiction comes across very well in "early" dogen, a man bent on creating a religion

but the translation is utterly non-philological and everything western philosophical, the joke of all the physicality of "grunt zenners" dancing to the made-up tune of a fragile author

when you write, you are looking for an inner coherence, you can’t just patch words together though sometimes it seems like that

when you write, you are looking for an inner coherence, you can’t just patch words together

have you ever done any retreats or put in any "contemplative time" or work ?

its just what they don’t get on r|zen, without this you will never start to understand and remain going in circles spouting meaningless rubbish

i’m pretty close to banning you  (ed. from the zen_mystical subreddit),  its not my business to sort you out and i really don’t have to time to deal with a recalcitrant who is in total denial about the nature of the work that needs to be done

“ the work that needs to be done ”

why has it not finished and new work started ?

"the work" continually opens, it has no boundary

"lullaby" written by michizō tachihara, his last poem before dying of tuberculosis at age 24

eyelids !  sleep

faint light streams through the haze

beyond you.

sleep ! sleep !   .  .  .   sleep serenely,

counting breaths,

counting dreams,

till morning’s glittering glare.

eyelids !  sleep through night after night after night

sleep ! sleep !   .  .  .    sleep in peace

my  reworking


deeper than sleep

you are laden

streaming light

you can see

the depth beyond

the glare of morning

i am swallowed

into nothingness

willing or not willing

nobody asked

lukersim is confused

"imaginary" versus "non-imaginary"







 about ?

a moment’s silence




be lost






even a horizon

is bounded






even a horizon

has bounds

in the period of waking up you can get hypnagogic visions which is still a sleep state


touching his "inner solipsist"

garbles the result

the 1918 pandemic flu may have hung around for a decade and a half later in mutated forms, some of which gave rise to extremely unusual neurological disabilities as per oliver sacks

i don’t know whether the present health measures of the coronovirus are more likely to give rise to more virulent mutated forms, but its a possibility

if the total number of people getting the virus is drastically reduced, which it may, then i think more virulent mutated forms are much less likely

i think its better not to get it

flies are conscious but plants are not


who glimpse solipsism

and then


the result


chum indicates to corey how much  to offer  with his extended hand to corey, four fingers and a thumb, ie five hundred dollars

in other words they were worth something despite his dissing them, quite a "professional" operation !

me, i would have paid the owner to burn them

a rosehip bush

resplendent in red

the older you live

the further you move from the nonsense of others

i wish i could say the same of my own nonsense

but i can’t

the older you live

the further you move from the nonsense of people

i wish i could say the same of my own nonsense

but i can’t

oh i’m an instagram "influencer"

pompous bullshit is my style

trite self-opinionated hubris

a dribble of words and thoughts

tarted up pictures

of tarts

the blindness of the species

e p i t o m i s e d

“ exercise may stimulate  the clearance  of damaged mitochondria, thus keeping mitochondria in muscle healthy and prolonging older people’s physical capabilities ”

henri rousseau had  a jug  in the original "sleeping gypsy" ,  but he painted it over

it was better with the jug imo